[Essay] Please help me! and correct my grammar

[japanbanzai]

[FONT=HGP&#21109]My town[/FONT]​

It is the biggest and oldest town within the Sorachi. It is historical yet friendly town.

That is my town called Tsukigata. Tsukigata was born 130years ago, and it has great history. Do I like Tsukigata? Absolutely love it.

Tsukigata is a small town compare to Sapporo. The town has only four thousands people. Everyone knows everyone, one way or another. Long time ago, Tsukigata was more prosper than Sapporo because there was the oldest prison in Hokkaido named Kabato prison.
Moreover, Tsukigata is the only town In Hokkaido had gotten a name from Parson’s last name. The parson was Kiyoshi Tsukigata who was the first chief of Tsukigata village. Also, he was the director of Kabato prison.

Tsukigata elementary school where I go to value tradition, such as all the students would dance Tsukigata Ondo in field day every year. And all the students celebrate town’s birth day by playing Yagibushi with recorder.

Through the whole year there are so many exciting things happened in Tsukigata.
In spring, you can see so many different pieces of flower all over the town. It is amazingly beautiful.
In summer, there is huge festival and fire works in Kairaku Park.
In fall, there is also a big festival in precinct of temple. We all make rice cake together and throw them then pick them up. We believe that more you pick up the rice cake, and more you get happiness.
In winter, it’s very cold and a lot of snow so you can go to skiing or you can make a Kamakura and snow men.

So, feel free to escape the rainy season or summer heat by coming down and visiting my beautiful town of Tsukigata.

 

[Rover_KE]

Hi, japanbanzai and welcome to the board.

Sorry you've had to wait so long for a reply.

I have made a few corrections:

[FONT=HGP&#21109]My Town[/FONT]​

Tsukigata is the biggest and oldest town within the Sorachi. It is a historical yet friendly town.

This is where I belong. It was founded 130 years ago, and it has great history. Do I like Tsukigata? I absolutely love it.

Tsukigata is a small town compared to Sapporo, having a population of only four thousand people. Everyone knows everyone else, one way or another. A long time ago, Tsukigata was more prosperous than Sapporo because it was the home of the oldest prison in Hokkaido - Kabato prison.

Moreover, Tsukigata is the only town in Hokkaido with a name derived from a parson’s surname. The parson was Kiyoshi Tsukigata, who was the first chief of Tsukigata village. Also, he was the director of Kabato prison.

The town's elementary school, which I attend, values tradition, such as all the students dancing Tsukigata Ondo on the field day every year. Another tradition is that all the students celebrate the town’s birthday by playing Yagibushi on the recorder.

Throughout the year there are so many exciting things happening in Tsukigata.
In spring, you can see so many different kinds of flowers all over the town. It is amazingly beautiful.
In summer, there is a huge festival and firework display in Kairaku Park.
In the fall, there is a big festival in the precinct of the temple. We all make rice cakes together, throw them and then pick them up. We believe that the more rice cakes you pick up, the more happiness you will have.
In winter, it’s very cold and we get a lot of snow so you can go skiing or you can make a Kamakura and snowmen.

So, feel free to escape the rainy season or summer heat by coming down and visiting my beautiful town of Tsukigata.

Good luck,

Rover