[Essay] Pls grade this essay on a scale of 5.

Status
Not open for further replies.

ripu1610

Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Can some1 grade this essay on a scale of 5 points. Really want to know where to impro

Q. The widespread use of internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in availability of information influence life in today’s world.

It cannot be denied that with the development in technology, life of people have changed drastically. Internet, the best technological innovation, has created wonders and the information available on internet has greatly affected the masses in many ways. A few of them are stated below.
To begin with, internet provides excessive information to the young generation. For instance, students prepare projects and thesis with the help of online information, know about various education schools worldwide and more. Professionals can find jobs and update themselves through online information because of its flexi timings and advanced facilities. Moreover, people can stay connected to their dear ones and professional colleagues through networking sites and e-mails.
Apart from this, every country prospers with advanced research and development required in all fields. Internet plays an important role as it not only provides significant details, but also brings influential people in all respected fields face to face. In this way, countries achieve more than their individual capabilities and can widen their horizons. Thus, internet and its information have transformed the world into a globalised open market.
Lastly, internet has changed the role of women today. With the information and other facilities of World Wide Web, women can not perform domestic chores, but also prosper professionally. This would not have been possible without availability of information on internet. Also, men are able to compete better in their jobs for promotion because they do a lot of online courses and practical learning through information available of internet.
To sum up, information available on internet has changed the face of society. It has shown a great impact on people socially, politically and economically. Internet and information available through it has influenced the mankind on a vast scale and with the increasing technology, they will act as a promising factor for the growth of the entire world.
 
Last edited:

Rover_KE

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
England
Current Location
England
4.5 - it's very good.

Rover
 

Barb_D

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Mar 12, 2007
Member Type
Other
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
  • You have some problems with articles.
  • Either use the Internet with a capital I or internet with a lower-case i, not both.
  • Does "the young generation" include working professionals? You start saying it's students, but then you talk about professionals
  • You need to find another way to say this sentence: update themselves through online information because of its flexi timings and advanced facilities
  • Your point about globalization is a good one, I think.
  • Your third point doesn't make sense to me.
 

Rover_KE

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
England
Current Location
England
The usual phrase is '...on a scale of one to five'.

Rover
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top