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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1

    Precious suggestion

    Can you please help me to find an alternative sentence for "we would appreciate" in the letter below? I would like to avoid the repetition of "appreciate" Because it appears twice...I thank you very much for your help!!!

    "I kindly inform you that we are currently updating our data system and we would appreciate if you could send us your company’s most updated list of employees completed with their contact details.

    I thank you in advance for your attention and greatly appreciated cooperation.

    With my kindest regards,"
    Last edited by Patrizia Ilaria; 24-Jun-2010 at 11:47. Reason: NEED HELP WITH A SENTENCE!!!

  2. #2
    tedtmc is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    2,108

    Re: Precious suggestion

    I kindly inform you that We are currently updating our data system and we would appreciate it if you could send us your company’s most updated list of employees completed with their contact details.

    Thank you in advance for your attention and greatly appreciated cooperation.
    1.'I kindly inform you..' is unnecessary.
    2. For official correspondence, it is better to use 'we' than 'I'.
    3. 'Appreciate' is a transitive verb. So, you say 'appreciate it'.
    4. We would appreciate it/We would be much obliged/We would be grateful.

    not a teacher

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