[Essay] Could you please correct my text?

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engsci

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Hi! I am a Ukrainian Ph.D. student, writing a scientific article about oil.
Could you please correct my text?
I'll be very grateful to you for help.

The oil system represents an extremely complex, self-organizing natural system. If we consider the oil system as a disperse system, then many phenomena and processes occurring in this system can be described and analyzed. The several types of macromolecules contained in the oil, namely, the high molecular paraffin, the resins, and the asphaltenes can form the dispersed phase. It has been known that the asphaltenes have a tendency to self-association. The behavior of the asphaltenes (dispersed phase) depends on the environmental conditions (temperature, pressure, composition of the dispersion medium, parameters of the electromagnetic field, etc.).

The theory of self-organization, reflecting the most general properties of the behavior of complex systems, introduces the concept of hierarchy levels of a system. According to present views, there are three hierarchy levels of the structural organization of the asphaltenes: (1) individual asphaltene molecules (molecular solution); (2) asphaltene nanoaggregates (colloidal solution/sol); (3) asphaltene clusters (suspension). In the oil systems, the molecular level of the asphaltenes is not the main one, whereas the supramolecular levels of the asphaltenes influence on the macroscopic properties of the oil. In order for the problem of asphaltene deposits to be solved effectively, the mechanisms of a formation of the asphaltene clusters must be studied in detail, because the stage of the formation of the asphaltene clusters precedes their precipitation from the oil solution.

The asphaltenes are the most polar fraction of oil. Therefore, dipole-dipole interactions play an important role in the processes of asphaltene aggregation. Mention should be made of the works in which was performed the separation of the asphaltenes into several subfractions, based on their solubility in the binary mixture of polar (CH2Cl2) and nonpolar (n-pentane) solvents. The obtained asphaltene subfractions differed in polarity. The flocculation experiments showed that the higher-polarity subfractions have a greater tendency to aggregate. Consequently, the aggregative stability of the asphaltenes depends on their polarity.

In 1981, Witten and Sander put forward a model, called diffusion-limited aggregation (DLA), which describes the processes of cluster formation in different physical systems. This model considers a cluster as physical object with fractal structure and allows us to depict the evolution of the cluster, to track the details of its growth. The DLA model is promising for explaining many processes of structure formation in the colloidal system and establishing a link between microscopic and macroscopic scales. Mukhametzyanov et al. used the DLA model to simulation the processes of cluster formation in the oil systems. Mansoori and colleagues have created a model based on the concept of fractal structure of asphaltene clusters, which describes aggregation and precipitation of asphaltenes in oil systems.

Thank you very much!
 

Leandro-Z

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you are repeating a lot the word "system"
 

engsci

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Leandro-Z, thank you very much!

I rewrote the first two sentences:
The crude oil represents an extremely complex, self-organizing natural system. If we consider the crude oil as a disperse system, then many phenomena and processes occurring in this system can be described and analyzed.
 

tedtmc

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For a start, I don't think you need to use 'the'.

[STRIKE]The [/STRIKE]Crude oil represents an extremely complex, self-organizing, natural system. If we consider [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] crude oil as a disperse system, then many phenomena and processes occurring in this system can be described and analyzed.
 

tedtmc

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The several types of macromolecules contained in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] crude oil (as opposed to other types of oil eg. edible oils, aromatic oils, etc), namely, the high molecular paraffin, the resins, and the asphaltenes can form the dispersed phase. It has been known that the asphaltenes have a tendency [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for (tend to, tendency for) self-association. The behavior of the asphaltenes in the dispersed phase (no brackets) depends on the environmental conditions that is the temperature, pressure, composition of the dispersion medium, parameters of the electromagnetic field and others.

I'd say, try to avoid using brackets in your writing if possible. And also the abbreviation, etc. which I think, doesn't sound scientific enough.
 

tedtmc

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The theory of self-organization, reflecting the most general properties of the behavior of complex systems, introduces the concept of hierarchy [STRIKE]levels [/STRIKE]of a system. According to present views (current opinions?), there are three [STRIKE]hierarchy[/STRIKE] levels of the structural organization of the asphaltenes: (1) individual asphaltene molecules (molecular solution); (2) asphaltene nanoaggregates (colloidal solution/sol); (3) asphaltene clusters (suspension). In the oil systems, the molecular level of the asphaltenes is not the main one, whereas the supramolecular levels of the asphaltenes influence [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] the macroscopic properties of the oil. In order for the problem of asphaltene deposits to be solved effectively, the mechanisms of a formation of the asphaltene clusters must be studied in detail, because the stage of the formation of the asphaltene clusters precedes their precipitation from the oil solution.

1. Hierarchy is synonymous with levels, so you don't say 'hierarchy levels'.
2. A influences(verb) B. A's influence(noun) on B.
 

tedtmc

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The asphaltenes are the most polar fraction of oil. Therefore, dipole-dipole interactions play an important role in the processes of asphaltene aggregation. Mention should be made of the works [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] which was performed the separation of the asphaltenes into several subfractions, based on their solubility in the binary mixture of polar (CH2Cl2) and nonpolar (n-pentane) solvents. The [STRIKE]obtained[/STRIKE] asphaltene subfractions obtained differed in polarity. The flocculation experiments showed that the higher-polarity subfractions have a greater tendency to aggregate. Consequently, the aggregative stability of the asphaltenes depends on their polarity.

In 1981, Witten and Sander put forward a model, called diffusion-limited aggregation (DLA), which describes the processes of cluster formation in different physical systems. This model considers a cluster as a physical object with fractal structure and allows us to depict the evolution of the cluster(,) and to track the details of its growth. The DLA model is promising for explaining many processes of structure formation in the colloidal system and establishing a link between microscopic and macroscopic scales. Mukhametzyanov et al. used the DLA model to [STRIKE]simulation [/STRIKE] simulate the processes of cluster formation in the oil systems. Mansoori and colleagues have created a model based on the concept of fractal structure of asphaltene clusters, which describes the aggregation and precipitation of asphaltenes in oil systems.
 

engsci

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tedtmc, I am very much obliged to you!

多谢 !
 
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