He looked like he was in dire straits.- Many would prefer 'as if he was in die straits'
This is Max- You've changed tense here to the present, which doesn't really fit IMO
You would not believe he was a clerk in a small store, because he never tried to make much more money.- Why wouldn't I believe this? This sentence doesn't really follow to me. If he's melancholic and unambitious, then it wouldn't surprise me.
Nothing can change him. He didn't dislike rich,- Nothing could... He didn't dislike wealth
Paragraph2- You repeat 'as usual' in the first line
He woke up soon,- slightly unclear as later on we learn that it was the oppsite case and he was daydreaming. You might want to rephrase this
He woke up soon,- a strange sentence that some might not like, but I think it works in the context.
still with dire straits- in
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