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    #1

    How can I re-phrase it ....

    Hi,

    How can I re-phrase the following group words to make much sence:

    Ammonia, Urea, Product handling and associated Utilities shall be under complete maintenance in order to increase Asset Efficiency, Reliability and implementation of planned projects and Long Term Recommendations.

    Please do help.

    Thanks.

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Can you say what "under complete maintenance" means?

    Who is this directed to?
    What do you want them to do?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #3

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Can you say what "under complete maintenance" means?

    Who is this directed to?
    What do you want them to do?
    This is Maintenance department. We are in Maintenance Department and we are making a presentation for the Board Directors meeting. In our first slide we are giving over view of our department activities.

    There are some mistakes which needs to be corrected. So requested for help.

    Thanks.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Maintenance is in charge of ammonia, urea, and product handling? (Say Board of Directors.)



  3. RonBee's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    I don't think maintenance would be charged with improving asset efficiency.




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    #6

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee View Post
    Maintenance is in charge of ammonia, urea, and product handling? (Say Board of Directors.)



    Please make it just like a phrase format ..no need of a statement form.

    Note: Actually we want to show them that if all the activities (Ammonia, Urea, Plant Handling & associated utilities) come under maintenance department, the efficiency will be increased as well as the Plant reliability.

    Thanks.
    Last edited by sweetie123; 06-Jul-2010 at 04:59.

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    #7

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Quote Originally Posted by sweetie123 View Post
    Please make it just like a phrase format ..no need of a statement form.

    Note: Actually we want to show them that if all the activities (Ammonia, Urea, Plant Handling & associated utilities) come under maintenance department, the efficiency will be increased as well as the Plant reliability.

    Thanks.
    Looking forward to any help please.

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    I'm still confused about what you want to say.

    You want to say what you do now.

    We maintain the ammonia, urea, and plant handling areas and associated utilities.
    --> What does "plant handling" mean?

    You want to say why: Maintaining these areas in excellent condition improves asset efficiency and reliability and aids in project implementation and long-term recommendations.
    --> How does it aid in the implementation of long-term recommendations, and what are long-term recommendations.


    (Note the capitalization.)
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #9

    Re: How can I re-phrase it ....

    Ammonia, Urea, Product handling and associated Utilities shall be under complete maintenance in order to increase Asset Efficiency, Reliability and implementation of planned projects and Long Term Reco.

    In general, the Maintenance department of a factory is in charge of the maintenance(upkeep and repair) of the facilities which comprises the builidings, plant and equipment.

    Ammonia, Urea, Product handling and associated Utilities are probably the chemical handling equipment.
    complete maintenance - comprehensive maintenance

    The maintenance of the equipment is of course important to the efficiency of the factory. I have not heard of 'asset efficiency'. You can say the equipment is a asset.

    'Planned project and long term recommendation' are too vague.

    not a teacher

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