i will have a test for TOEFL this Saturday. I can use some sentences in this essay for the test. Please help me correct my mistakes and improve my writing skill. Thank you!!
---------
the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries
Nowadays discussion about whether an increase of the teachers' salaries is the best way to improve the quality of education in a country causes a heated debate over a long period time. Some, maintaining this viewpoint that the quality of education depends on all teachers, claim that raising their earnings deeply benefits the country's education. I concede their opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, the importance of the numerous sustainable investments and the wide attention towards education should not be overlooked.
Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this attitude is that the numerous sustainable investments have many desirable impacts on all realms of education. For example, the generous investments towards education can spawn great advances in basic educational equipments and various areas of research, providing us a first-class and comfortable environment for study and teach, and presenting a fantastic bloom of academic achievements. Similarly, the sustainable financial supports is able to satisfy students and teachers' essential needs for education, such as an experiment facility and a computer for clips playback, and moreover create the best opportunities for them to achieve their incredible imaginations. Perhaps most importantly, this investment can turn out to be an awesome reward, thereby offering a tremendous improvement and enhancement in education.
To back up my point, it could be relevant to include another cause that a wide attention always cause a positive impact on education. Education, as a huge vital project, advances human civilization at a rapid rate over thousands of years. Thanks to human education, we, human beings, live through the Stone Age to the Information Age. What an amazing miracle. However, education is an immensely complicated system which involves science, economy, and culture. We cannot manage education well only by a few people. It needs lots of people, institutions and countries together, devoting every attention to various aspects of education. Imagine this, how whole society cannot promise a bright perspective of education even under all endeavors.
On the other hand, it is essential not to take this assertion too far. An increase of teachers' salaries apparently will improve the quality of education. To a large extent, a brilliant teacher is one of the most influential sources of education. A considerable salary will attract more people to be a tutor or instructor. However, as I said just now, teachers are only a small part of education system. We cannot be too naive to consider an improvement of teachers' welfare as the optimum way for the improvement of education.
---------
the best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers’ salaries
Nowadays discussion about whether an increase of the teachers' salaries is the best way to improve the quality of education in a country causes a heated debate over a long period time. Some, maintaining this viewpoint that the quality of education depends on all teachers, claim that raising their earnings deeply benefits the country's education. I concede their opinion. Nevertheless, as for me, the importance of the numerous sustainable investments and the wide attention towards education should not be overlooked.
Initially, one issue which encourages me to hold this attitude is that the numerous sustainable investments have many desirable impacts on all realms of education. For example, the generous investments towards education can spawn great advances in basic educational equipments and various areas of research, providing us a first-class and comfortable environment for study and teach, and presenting a fantastic bloom of academic achievements. Similarly, the sustainable financial supports is able to satisfy students and teachers' essential needs for education, such as an experiment facility and a computer for clips playback, and moreover create the best opportunities for them to achieve their incredible imaginations. Perhaps most importantly, this investment can turn out to be an awesome reward, thereby offering a tremendous improvement and enhancement in education.
To back up my point, it could be relevant to include another cause that a wide attention always cause a positive impact on education. Education, as a huge vital project, advances human civilization at a rapid rate over thousands of years. Thanks to human education, we, human beings, live through the Stone Age to the Information Age. What an amazing miracle. However, education is an immensely complicated system which involves science, economy, and culture. We cannot manage education well only by a few people. It needs lots of people, institutions and countries together, devoting every attention to various aspects of education. Imagine this, how whole society cannot promise a bright perspective of education even under all endeavors.
On the other hand, it is essential not to take this assertion too far. An increase of teachers' salaries apparently will improve the quality of education. To a large extent, a brilliant teacher is one of the most influential sources of education. A considerable salary will attract more people to be a tutor or instructor. However, as I said just now, teachers are only a small part of education system. We cannot be too naive to consider an improvement of teachers' welfare as the optimum way for the improvement of education.
