Atchan
Key Member
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Somali
- Home Country
- Somalia
- Current Location
- Saudi Arabia
Are there mistakes in this passage? Because I have translated it from Arabic language.
I know that this real story has happened two weeks ago but I didn’t get time to translate it because I had been watching world cup games.
An American man ventured to kill his little girl in order to watch America and Ghana’s game in the world cup which host in South Africa in restful and without disturbance style. The Monitor newspaper which published on Tuesday mentioned the twenty-seven-year man who descend from Texas acknowledged to the police that he killed his little girl Amman twice on her chest because she didn’t stop shrieking during the game. When the girl stopped breathing, the dad tried to refresh her heart but usefulness. According to the police report, the dad putted nails into his girl’s mouth to make the matter as an incident caused of his girl’s dead.
When girl’s mom came back to the house she found her girl being unconscious and her body was cold and having a pale color. The report of autopsy demonstrated that the little girl exposed to four fractures in her rip.
Please check my English Expression, Grammar and other mistakes or suggest any other verb or sentence that can make beautiful this paragraph. Do grade me out of 10.
Thanking you for your support and kindness.
I know that this real story has happened two weeks ago but I didn’t get time to translate it because I had been watching world cup games.
An American killed his little girl in order to watch America and Ghana’s game in the world cup without disturbance
An American man ventured to kill his little girl in order to watch America and Ghana’s game in the world cup which host in South Africa in restful and without disturbance style. The Monitor newspaper which published on Tuesday mentioned the twenty-seven-year man who descend from Texas acknowledged to the police that he killed his little girl Amman twice on her chest because she didn’t stop shrieking during the game. When the girl stopped breathing, the dad tried to refresh her heart but usefulness. According to the police report, the dad putted nails into his girl’s mouth to make the matter as an incident caused of his girl’s dead.
When girl’s mom came back to the house she found her girl being unconscious and her body was cold and having a pale color. The report of autopsy demonstrated that the little girl exposed to four fractures in her rip.
Please check my English Expression, Grammar and other mistakes or suggest any other verb or sentence that can make beautiful this paragraph. Do grade me out of 10.
Thanking you for your support and kindness.
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