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  1. #1
    bosun is offline Senior Member
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    google vs. yahoo

    If you see any mistakes in the following sentence, can I have your comments? It's really important for me. Please help me!

    Even though the business of many kinds , especially the Internet business, seem to be successful from the surface, seemingly dealing with and satisfying consumer's demands, it is important to adopt a stragey with through understadning of the fastest growing internet business.

  2. #2
    euncu's Avatar
    euncu is offline Senior Member
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    Re: google vs. yahoo

    ***neither a teacher nor a native-speaker***

    You use such words as "seem to", "from the surface", "seemingly" intimating that you have, at least, some degree of disbelief towards the images of those kind of businesses, but then comes the sentence starting with "it is important..". And the reader, opposite to what they expected you to say, see no sign of what you have previously suggested. This only serves to break their train of thoughts and make the paragraph, at least, semantically incorrect.

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