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  1. #1
    bosun is offline Senior Member
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    experience differnet surroundings.

    Hi! I am trying to write a personnel statement for college admission and if you see any mistakes in the following sentence, can I have your feedback.

    1.My mom had to move around many times due to her job, which gave me difficulties as well as opportunites to experience many different surroundings.

    2.Moving too many palces was not easy for a young girl, but I made my situation into a benefit by using my adapting ability and friendliess in dealing with people.

  2. #2
    TheParser is offline VIP Member
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    Re: experience differnet surroundings.

    Quote Originally Posted by bosun View Post
    Hi! I am trying to write a personnel statement for college admission and if you see any mistakes in the following sentence, can I have your feedback.

    1.My mom had to move around many times due to her job, which gave me difficulties as well as opportunites to experience many different surroundings.

    2.Moving too many palces was not easy for a young girl, but I made my situation into a benefit by using my adapting ability and friendliess in dealing with people.
    ********** NOT A TEACHER **********

    Hello, Bosun.

    (1) Maybe something like:

    It was difficult moving from place to place because of my

    mother's job, but I found it to be a wonderful and exciting opportunity

    to experience new and different surroundings.




    Although constantly moving around was hard on a young girl,

    I learned that I could turn a challenging situation into a success

    by being friendly with people and eagerly adapting myself to

    changing conditions.

    Thank you

    P. S. Good luck!!!

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