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    #1

    Cellphone playing music

    I wrote this sentence:
    "This was the song you were listening to, taking my cellphone and plugging an earphone."

    Now my question is what impression you got from this sentence?

    I wanted to mean: The cellphone was playing the song and he was listening to this song with an earphone, plugging it with the cell phone and his ear.

    And how well can it be rewritten?

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Cellphone playing music

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Cruge View Post
    I wrote this sentence:
    "This was the song you were listening to, taking my cellphone and plugging an earphone."

    Now my question is what impression you got from this sentence?

    I wanted to mean: The cellphone was playing the song and he was listening to this song with an earphone, plugging it with the cell phone and his ear.

    And how well can it be rewritten?
    This was the song you were listening to when you took my cellphone and plugged your headphones in.

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    #3

    Re: Cellphone playing music

    How well can it be rewritten?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Cellphone playing music

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Cruge View Post
    How well can it be rewritten?
    I already rewrote it, or would you like someone else to rewrite it again?!

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    #5

    Re: Cellphone playing music

    Thank you. I got it. Suggestions are welcome, though...

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