[Essay] Please, mark my letter

[rosagold]

Hi, I know that it is time consuming to correct other's pieces of writing therefore please read my letter and, if you dont have time to make corrections, just give me a mark.Thank you Here is my letter (it has 284 words)Dear Sir/Madam,I have just returned from a holiday in Florida, organised by your company. Regrettably, it entirely failed to meet my expectation, turning out to be a nightmare instead of my dream holiday. Therefore, I wish to complain.To start with, your advertisement offered a holiday at a bargain price but, in reality, I was charged for quite a lot of services. I had to pay extra for using a hairdryer or an iron, and if I wanted a sunbed on the beach, I was asked to pay a fee every day. Furthermore, regarding hotel amenities, I regret to say that I was totally disappointed. The room did not have a view, as the hotel overlooked a flyover and the air-conditioning did not function properly thus it was hot and noisy. To make matters worse, the fridge was always empty. There was only one pool, dirty and busy and not three as you stated. I complained to the hotel manager on numerous occsion but the problems were never remedied, all the staff being rather rude and unhelpful. In addition, the beach was at least two miles away and not close as you claimed, and I needed to take a bus to go there. I could not afford to rent a car because it was much expansive as you advertised. On top of all, the hotel was 200 km away from the airport, making the transfer a long and uncomfortable journey.I consider the standard of the holiday you offered was very poor and I feel I am entitled to a compensation to reflect the actual value of the holiday. Therefore, I look forward to an offer of compensation within 14 days.Your faithfully,

 

[Rover_KE]

Hi, I know that it is time consuming to correct other's pieces of writing therefore please read my letter and, if you dont have time to make corrections, just give me a mark.Thank you Here is my letter (it has 284 words):

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have just returned from a holiday in Florida, organised by your company.

Regrettably, it entirely failed to meet my expectations, turning out to be a nightmare instead of my dream holiday. Therefore, I wish to complain.

To start with, your advertisement offered a holiday at a bargain price but, in reality, I was charged for quite a lot of services. I had to pay extra for using a hairdryer or an iron, and if I wanted a sunbed on the beach, I was asked to pay a fee every day.

Furthermore, regarding hotel amenities, I regret to say that I was totally disappointed. The room did not have a view, as the hotel overlooked a flyover and the air-conditioning did not function properly so it was hot and noisy. To make matters worse, the fridge was always empty.

There was only one pool, dirty and busy and not three as you stated. I complained to the hotel manager on numerous occasions but the problems were never remedied, all the staff being rather rude and unhelpful. In addition, the beach was at least two miles away and not close as you claimed, and I needed to take a bus to get there. I could not afford to rent a car because it was much more expensive than you advertised.

Above all, the hotel was 200 km away from the airport, making the transfer a long and uncomfortable journey. I consider the standard of the holiday you offered was very poor and I feel I am entitled to substantial compensation to reflect the actual value of the holiday.

Therefore, I look forward to an offer of compensation within 14 days.

Yours faithfully,

Note the value of paragraphing in breaking up the text into reader-friendly sections.

Rover

 

[rosagold]

Thank you, Rover.

For some reason, the computer I used would not let me write in paragraphs as I intented.
It seems that I am not too bad, :-D would this essay be good enough for a CAE writing task.

Thanks again

 

[Rover_KE]

I am not familiar with the CAE.

Rover