Could you please check out my cover letter?

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wang.cupid

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Hey friends, I am going to apply to a PhD degree. The first and formost thing for me right now is to write a cover letter to my future professors. Could you please check it out because I want to make sure that it is grammatically correct and kind of appealing. I have no experience doing this. Thanks in advance.



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Dear Professor,

I am an international student and I am considering to pursue a PhD degree under you supervision. Could you please spare me a few minutes to take a look at my brief introduction concerning my education and working experience. Thanks in advance.

My overall IELTS score is 7.5, with 7.5 for listening , 8.5 for reading, 6.5 for writing and 7 for speaking. Also, my GRE scores are 800, 580 and 4.5 for quantitative, verbal and analytical writing respectively. I received my bachelor and master's degree from Hohai University(or East China Shuili University) - a member of 211 universities(top 100 universities in the 21st century), in the year of 2002 and 2006 respectively.

I have been teaching, doing research and being engaged in projects with regard to embedded design and network technology. Specifically, I have been working at Hohai University since April 2006. Last year, I worked at Lakehead University as a visiting scholar and cooperated with Dr. Xiaoping Liu on his project - design and implementation of network controlled walking & parallel robots for no less than one year. During the period from July 2001 to June 2002, I worked an internship at Mettler Toledo Inc. and was mainly responsible for designing embedded retail scales based on Linux and ARM CPUs.

When it comes to papers, my newest paper will be published in the 2010 IEEE International Conference on Mechatronics and Automation. I have also published several papers in key Chinese journals, some of which are EI indexed.

If you need more information, please let me know and I look forward to sending you my detailed CV as soon as possible.

Best wishes,

 

Leandro-Z

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Joined
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Hey friends, I am going to apply to a PhD degree. The first and formost thing for me right now is to write a cover letter to my future professors. Could you please check it out because I want to make sure that it is grammatically correct and kind of appealing. I have no experience doing this. Thanks in advance.



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Dear Professor,

I am an international student and I am considering to pursue a PhD degree under your supervision. [STRIKE]Could you please spare me a few minutes to take a look at [/STRIKE] I would like you to check my brief introduction concerning my education and working experience. [STRIKE]Thanks[/STRIKE] Thank you in advance.

My overall IELTS score is 7.5, with 7.5 [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in Listening , 8.5 [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in Reading Comprehension, 6.5 [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in Writing and 7 [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in [STRIKE]speaking[/STRIKE] Oral Examination. [STRIKE]Also[/STRIKE] Furthermore, my GRE scores are 800, 580 and 4.5 [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] in Quantitative, Verbal and Analytical Writing respectively. In addition to this, I received my bachelor and master's degree from Hohai University(or East China Shuili University) - a member of 211 universities(top 100 universities in the 21st century), in [STRIKE]the year of [/STRIKE]2002 and 2006 respectively.

I have been teaching, doing research and being engaged in projects with regard to embedded design and network technology. Specifically, I have been working at Hohai University since April 2006. Last year, I worked at Lakehead University as a visiting scholar and cooperated with Dr. Xiaoping Liu on his project - design and implementation of network controlled walking [STRIKE]&[/STRIKE] and parallel robots for no less than one year. During the period from July 2001 to June 2002, I worked an internship at Mettler Toledo Inc. and was mainly responsible for designing embedded retail scales based on Linux and ARM CPUs.

When it comes to papers, my newest paper will be published in the 2010 IEEE International Conference on Mechatronics and Automation. I have also published several papers in key Chinese journals, some of which are EI indexed.

If you need more information, please let me know [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE]. I look forward to sending you my detailed CV as soon as possible.

Best wishes,

It`s okay, as far as I could correct it. However, there are some expressions that belong to the spoken language. You are writing a formal letter so you have to stick to tha appropriate style. Also, you need linking phrases so as to match ideas and to beautify the eloquence.

Thanks,
Leandro-Z
 

wang.cupid

Junior Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
Canada
Many thanks.
Good day!
 
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