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  1. Offroad's Avatar
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    #1

    break-up

    Dear friends...

    Could you please proofread this passage:?

    - What would you do if you saw a love message from somebody else in your lover's cell phone?
    - I would still give a chance for her to explain, however the odds of me accepting it would be almost none, therefore, along another break-up comes.

    Thanks

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: break-up

    Quote Originally Posted by Offroad View Post
    Dear friends...

    Could you please proofread this passage:?

    - What would you do if you saw a love romantic message from somebody else in your lover's cell phone?
    - I would still give her a chance for her to explain. However, the odds of me my accepting it her explanation would be almost none, therefore, along another break-up comes and another break-up would probably soon follow.

    Thanks
    See above for my suggestions.

    Although we do say "love letter" for the written variety, I don't think that "love message/text/email" have yet really been incorporated into colloquial English, so I would say "romantic" instead.

    I changed "the odds of me accepting it..." to "...accepting her explanation..." because you hadn't, at that point, referred to anything that could then be referred to as "it". You could have said "...the odds of my believing her..."

    At the end, although I understood what you meant about "another break-up" but it's not clear if you meant simply the end of another relationship, or if you meant that perhaps the couple had already previously broken up, so this wouldn't be the first time it had happened.

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