Results 1 to 4 of 4
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Somali
      • Home Country:
      • Somalia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 2,993
    #1

    9) Khalid - 10) My book

    Hi teachers, I need these two stories to be proofread. Thank you in advance.
    9) Khalid

    This is Khalid. He is a hardworking student and ranges seven-year old. He goes to school and study in the second class. His hair is clean, and so are his clothes and books. He goes to school early, and walks in a pavement, and doesnít play in the street. He studies in his school the Quran, reading, writing, mathematics, and science. He likes his school and feels happiness within it.

    10) My book

    My book is new, clean and beautiful. Its papers are white and its bind is clean. There are in my book a lot of pictures which I ponder and study of it. I save my book and doesnít tear, write on and throw its bind, but I save it in my bag. My book is useful and valuable. There is within it knowledges, decencies and stories. Itís my best friend.

  1. Nightmare85's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 1,333
    #2

    Re: 9) Khalid - 10) My book

    Quote Originally Posted by atchan View Post
    9) Khalid

    This is Khalid. He is a hardworking student and ranges seven-year old. He goes to school and studies in the second class. His hair is clean, and so are his clothes and books. He goes to school early, (and) walks in a pavement, and doesnít play in the street(s). He studies in his school the Quran, reading, writing, mathematics, and science. He likes his school and feels happiness within it.

    10) My book

    My book is new, clean and beautiful. Its papers are white and its bind is clean. There are a lot of pictures in my book which I ponder and study of it. I save my book and don't tear, write on (it) and or throw its bind, but I save it in my bag. My book is useful and valuable. There is within in it knowledges, decencies and stories. Itís my best friend.
    This is how I see it, and of course I'm interested in other opinions
    () means I'm not sure if it's needed...

    Regarding the 2nd sentence:
    Why not: He is a seven-year-old hardworking student.
    This "ranges" looks strange to me.

    Cheers!

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,832
    #3

    Re: 9) Khalid - 10) My book

    Quote Originally Posted by atchan View Post
    9) Khalid

    This is Khalid. He is a hardworking student and ranges seven-year old is seven years old. He goes to school and study is in the second class year. His hair is clean, and so are his clothes and books. He goes to school early, and walks in a on the pavement and doesnít play in the street. He studies in his school At school he studies the Quran, reading, writing, mathematics, and science. He likes his school and feels happiness within it is happy there.

    10) My book

    My book is new, clean and beautiful. Its papers pages are white and its binding is clean. There are In my book there are a lot of pictures which I ponder peruse and study of it. I save take care of my book and so that it doesnít tear, write on and throw its bind (I have no idea what you mean by the underlined part) but I save keep it in my bag. My book is useful and valuable. There is within it It contains knowledges, decencies (I don't know what you mean) and stories. Itís my best friend.
    My amendments are in red and my queries are in blue.

    In your first paragraph, I cannot see the relation between "He goes to school early" and "He walks on the pavement and doesn't play in the street". They don't seem to be connected (as ideas) so putting them in the same sentence seems odd.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Somali
      • Home Country:
      • Somalia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 2,993
    #4

    Re: 9) Khalid - 10) My book

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    My amendments are in red and my queries are in blue.

    In your first paragraph, I cannot see the relation between "He goes to school early" and "He walks on the pavement and doesn't play in the street". They don't seem to be connected (as ideas) so putting them in the same sentence seems odd.
    decencies (I don't know what you mean) = morals

    I take care of my book so that it doesn’t tear, write on and throw its binding (I have no idea what you mean by the underlined part) I mean that “I don’t tear and write something on the binding, and don't throw the book”.

    I don’t tear its binding.
    I don’t write something on the binding.
    I don’t throw the book on the floor.

    So how can I push them together to make a sentence?
    Last edited by Atchan; 05-Aug-2010 at 01:01.

Similar Threads

  1. can I make a book that book?
    By flytothesky in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-Feb-2009, 04:58
  2. [Grammar] Do you read that book? / Are you reading that book?
    By pedro8686 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-Jan-2009, 08:22
  3. book
    By Clark in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Nov-2008, 16:35
  4. Book of/by
    By nyggus in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-Mar-2006, 20:55
  5. Whose is this book vs. Whos book is this
    By babyblue in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-Nov-2005, 07:32

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •