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    #1

    disconnection

    Is this sentence phrased well? Is the word "disconnection" in place?


    Although nation A takes the liberty to slam nation B, humiliate it and provoke against it, nation A would not go so far as to bring about an irreversible disconnection from nation B.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: disconnection

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Is this sentence phrased well? Is the word "disconnection" in place?


    Although nation A takes the liberty to slam nation B, humiliate it and provoke against it, nation A would not go so far as to bring about an irreversible disconnection from nation B.
    Do you mean disconnection as in absolutely cutting off all ties with nation B?

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    #3

    Re: disconnection

    Yes.

  2. BobK's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: disconnection

    Incidentally, you don't 'provoke against' anything. You provoke sb to do sth, or you behave provocatively towards them [not against].

    A useful collocation for such a 'disconnection' is 'break off/sever* relations/ties'.

    Note, only one e; pronounced /'sevǝ/

    b

    PS I've just noticed: 'takes the liberty to slam' sounds very odd on two counts - perhaps three:

    • You 'take the liberty of doing sth'
    • 'Slam' sounds very unusual, with 'nation' as an object
    • 'Taking liberties', or 'taking the liberty' are acts of social reprehensibility: for example, kissing someone like a long-lost friend when you've only just met them is 'taking a liberty'.
    Last edited by BobK; 08-Aug-2010 at 11:49. Reason: Added PS

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    #5

    Re: disconnection

    Quote Originally Posted by BobK View Post
    Incidentally, you don't 'provoke against' anything. You provoke sb to do sth, or you behave provocatively towards them [not against].

    A useful collocation for such a 'disconnection' is 'break off/sever* relations/ties'.

    Note, only one e; pronounced /'sevǝ/

    b

    PS I've just noticed: 'takes the liberty to slam' sounds very odd on two counts - perhaps three:

    • You 'take the liberty of doing sth'
    • 'Slam' sounds very unusual, with 'nation' as an object
    • 'Taking liberties', or 'taking the liberty' are acts of social reprehensibility: for example, kissing someone like a long-lost friend when you've only just met them is 'taking a liberty'.
    Please, tell me if this version is better:

    Although nation A allows itself to criticize severely nation B, humiliate it and incite against it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: disconnection

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Please, tell me if this version is better:

    Although nation A allows itself to strongly criticize severely nation B, humiliate it and incite ... against it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.
    You need a noun after "incite". For example "to incite hatred". You don't simply "incite against..."

    I'm also not sure about "Nation A allows itself..." A nation cannot allow anything, it's an inanimate object. It's the people/politicians etc who actually criticise something, who could be considered Nation A. I've left it in for now.

    Perhaps:

    Although Nation A often criticises Nation B very strongly, and incites hatred towards it, Nation A would not go so far as to sever all ties with Nation B.

  4. BobK's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: disconnection

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Please, tell me if this version is better:

    Although nation A allows itself to criticize nation B severely [note new position] , humiliate it and incite against it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.
    It's an improvement, and fine after the comma! But - in Br Eng at least - You "incite <noun>" (ex: violence, hatred...), or you "incite sb to do sth".

    b

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