disconnection

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motico

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Is this sentence phrased well? Is the word "disconnection" in place?


Although nation A takes the liberty to slam nation B, humiliate it and provoke against it, nation A would not go so far as to bring about an irreversible disconnection from nation B.
 

emsr2d2

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Is this sentence phrased well? Is the word "disconnection" in place?


Although nation A takes the liberty to slam nation B, humiliate it and provoke against it, nation A would not go so far as to bring about an irreversible disconnection from nation B.

Do you mean disconnection as in absolutely cutting off all ties with nation B?
 

motico

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BobK

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Incidentally, you don't 'provoke against' anything. You provoke sb to do sth, or you behave provocatively towards them [not against].

A useful collocation for such a 'disconnection' is 'break off/sever* relations/ties'.

Note, only one e; pronounced /'sevǝ/

b

PS I've just noticed: 'takes the liberty to slam' sounds very odd on two counts - perhaps three:

  • You 'take the liberty of doing sth'
  • 'Slam' sounds very unusual, with 'nation' as an object
  • 'Taking liberties', or 'taking the liberty' are acts of social reprehensibility: for example, kissing someone like a long-lost friend when you've only just met them is 'taking a liberty'.
 
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motico

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Incidentally, you don't 'provoke against' anything. You provoke sb to do sth, or you behave provocatively towards them [not against].

A useful collocation for such a 'disconnection' is 'break off/sever* relations/ties'.

Note, only one e; pronounced /'sevǝ/

b

PS I've just noticed: 'takes the liberty to slam' sounds very odd on two counts - perhaps three:

  • You 'take the liberty of doing sth'
  • 'Slam' sounds very unusual, with 'nation' as an object
  • 'Taking liberties', or 'taking the liberty' are acts of social reprehensibility: for example, kissing someone like a long-lost friend when you've only just met them is 'taking a liberty'.

Please, tell me if this version is better:

Although nation A allows itself to criticize severely nation B, humiliate it and incite against it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.
 

emsr2d2

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Please, tell me if this version is better:

Although nation A allows itself to strongly criticize [STRIKE]severely[/STRIKE] nation B, humiliate it and incite ... against it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.

You need a noun after "incite". For example "to incite hatred". You don't simply "incite against..."

I'm also not sure about "Nation A allows itself..." A nation cannot allow anything, it's an inanimate object. It's the people/politicians etc who actually criticise something, who could be considered Nation A. I've left it in for now.

Perhaps:

Although Nation A often criticises Nation B very strongly, and incites hatred towards it, Nation A would not go so far as to sever all ties with Nation B.
 

BobK

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Please, tell me if this version is better:

Although nation A allows itself to criticize nation B severely [note new position] , humiliate it and incite against:?: it, nation A would not go so far as to cut off all ties with nation B.
It's an improvement, and fine after the comma! But - in Br Eng at least - You "incite <noun>" (ex: violence, hatred...), or you "incite sb to do sth".

b
 
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