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    #1

    An unbelievable phenomenon

    Please, check the short essay below:

    From the beginning of September 2010, we may witness an unbelievable phenomenon with regard to local teachers' salaries. Let's assume that at a certain school there are two fresh teachers, both teach biology, both hold the same scope of position, both teach exactly the same material and both face the same difficulties. And yet, from September 2010 one of the two may earn twice as much than does the other. Does it make sense? Of course it doesn't.

    The Ministry of Education jointly with the Ministry of Finance has decided: "In order to reinforce the educational system with qualified teachers especially teachers of mathematics and sciences , we are about to launch a plan according to which high quality academicians will be trained for teaching these subjects".


    On the surface it sounds great, isn't it? At last, our government wakes up and decides to deal with one of the most problematic issues of the educational system – the growing need for high quality manpower either in the field of education or the field of teaching. This problem stems mainly from the reluctance of young students to choose these occupations, due to the low salaries offered in them.


  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    I don't see the connection between your first paragraph and the rest. If both teachers start at the same time, why would one be earning so much more?

    You start out saying this seems like a terrible idea (Does this make sense?) and then seem happy that the ministry is doing something.

    When you say "This problem " do you mean the problem with the new program, or the problem of not having good teachers?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  2. RonBee's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Corrections, suggestions in red.

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post

    From the beginning of September 2010, we may witness an unbelievable phenomenon with regard to local teachers' salaries. Let's assume that at a certain school there are two new teachers, both teach biology, both hold the same scope of position, both teach exactly the same material and both face the same difficulties. And yet, from September 2010 one of the two may earn twice as much as the other. Does it make sense? Of course it doesn't.

    The Ministry of Education jointly with the Ministry of Finance has decided: "In order to reinforce the educational system with qualified teachers especially teachers of mathematics and sciences , we are about to launch a plan according to which high quality academicians will be trained for teaching these subjects".


    On the surface it sounds great, doesn't it? At last, our government wakes up and decides to deal with one of the most problematic issues of the educational system – the growing need for high quality manpower either in the field of education or the field of teaching. This problem stems mainly from the reluctance of young students to choose these occupations, due to the low salaries offered in them.

    In the first paragraph you raise an issue (an inexplicable difference in teachers' salaries) then you drop it and change the subject (inexplicably).

    "On the surface it sounds great, doesn't it?" suggests that when you dig deeper you find something else, but you don't say what that something else is.

    ~R

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    I was thinking about this some more, and it seems you want to write about something like this:

    The government is trying to address the challenge of a lack of qualified math and science teachers, but their new proposal has some flaws.

    Then you can explain the problem of the lack of teachers, their solution, why it creates a problematic situation, and what you think should happen instead.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #5

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Actually, this is part of an article which was originally composed (in Hebrew) by a frustrated teacher following the Ministry of Education's decision to launch a grandiose plan in order to solve an acute problem of the education system. As you surely understood, the reason for this problem is the lack of qualified teachers in the education system and the negative consequences of this situation either on the teaching level or the students' education.

    According to this plan, high-quality academicians will be trained to teach as high school teachers, in return for double salaries compared to salaries of teachers who are not included in this plan.

    Since the story has triggered your curiosity, I hope you would be so kind as to correct the rest of the article... Thank you in advance and thank you for your corrections so far!

    By the way, I'd like to ask RonBee why not: "a fresh teacher"? Does it have a negative meaning?

    As for: "hold the same scope of position" I wanted to emphasis that the two teachers work exactly the same hours. How do I express that?

    Here is the rest of the article:

    However, instead of addressing the problem within an overall reform, which can attract high quality manpower into the educational system, our government has preferred to make a move in public relations. Both the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Finance could have come up with a real solution like significantly improving the employment conditions of the existing teachers and raising their qualification level. Regrettably, they have chosen the cheapest and the easiest solution of all, which will not only fail to solve the problem in the long term, but may cause discrimination and bad blood between teachers.

    Therefore, starting with the next school year, any local teacher must know that the Ministry of Education deems his or her work as not good enough and thereby, his or her salary will be less than those "high quality academicians" who will earn, in addition to their salaries, generous premiums.

    To the knowledge of the readers and our distinguished ministers who have decided on discriminating between "high quality academicians" and the rest of the teachers – I am an academician myself. I've B.A. in physics and chemistry and M.A. in Jewish philosophy. In addition, I've acquired a teaching certificate for which I've worked hard for two years. As far as I'm concerned, there is a limit to the humiliation I'm ready to sustain.

    Therefore, I've already notified the school's headmaster that in case a former hi-tech employee will be teaching alongside me in the next year and will earn as twice as much as me, I'll no longer work at her school.

    [The paragraph below until: "do not exist" has been corrected by billmcd and Raymott]

    My decision just became stronger after I turned directly to one of the officials in the Ministry of Education in charge of that plan, complaining about the discrimination. The official's answer to my complaint was: "I'm sorry that it isn't possible to pay all the teachers higher salaries, however, the position you hold includes some advantages that can't be found in this special plan". Because she didn't elaborate, it is unclear what advantages she had in mind. Personally, I tend to believe that those advantages simply do not exist…

    It is highly questionable whether, let's say, three years from now those "high quality academicians" will still be willing to hold their educational positions when tens of thousands of their annual salaries will be cut. Very likely they will not.

    Judging from this move of the Ministry of Education, it seems that the road to rescue the educational system by its officials is paved with bad intentions. And if it is so, it would be better if they try to reach hell, at least "the road to hell is paved with good intentions…"

  4. RonBee's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    A "fresh teacher" comes across (to me) as a possible replacement for a tired teacher and is not (IMO) a synonym for a new teacher (although that seems to be the intention).


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    #7

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Ok. And what about my second question? (As for: "hold the same scope of position" I wanted to emphasis that the two teachers work exactly the same number of hours. How do I express that? )

  5. Raymott's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    However, instead of addressing the problem within an overall reform, which can attract high quality manpower into the educational system, ...
    The red comma shouldn't be there. This is a restrictive clause.

    R.

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    #9

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Thank you! I guess more corrections will follow…?

  6. RonBee's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: An unbelievable phenomenon

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Ok. And what about my second question? (As for: "hold the same scope of position" I wanted to emphasis that the two teachers work exactly the same number of hours. How do I express that? )
    I would say that they hold the same position/job. You could of course say that they work exactly the same number of hours. (I don't know any other way to say that.)


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