[General] Writing Part 2 STORY “from Unit 2 Grammar for FCE”

[elvis93]

Hi Guys!!!
Could you please correct my story and tell me your opinions about it?(if it is adequate or not for FCE)


That is the task:
A magazine called “Memories” is running a competition.
Readers are asked to send in stories of 120-180 words about a significant event in their early childhood.


Write your story






This is my answer:


One week ago, I had a meaningful dream which showed one of my childhood episode.
I could see myself when I was a six-year old child.
I was prettier then.
My fair curly hair had their roots in my shiny, round, blue-eyed face.
It was raining heavily and I had lost my home way.
There was only a frightening, black forest around me and I couldn't see any exit.
Suddenly,a “white” woman approached me and, after taking my hand, she led me to the right way.
Her beauty was dazzling and then I thought that her emerald eyes could hypnotize everything.
Finally, I could see my town, but, when I turned around to thank her, she wasn't there anymore.
She had completely disappeared like swallowed by the forest darkness. I have never been able to find out who she was.
When I was younger, I used to think she was a bright angel.
Who knows whether I'll meet her again.

 

[tedtmc]

A magazine called “Memories” is running a competition.
Readers are asked to send in stories of 120-180 words about a significant event in their early childhood.

Hi elvis

The story is supposed to be based on reality, of an event which happened in your childhood. It should be plausible and realistic.

A story from your dream like those in fairy tales or fantasy as you have written would not be appropriate for the purpose.

 

[elvis93]

ok maybe i should write something more real thank you.