A letter of apology

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Etern1ty

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Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Russian Federation
Hello.
Could you check my letter of apology? I would really appreciate it. Especially it's very hard to choose right formal expressions :( Maybe you would suggest something useful.

Dear Sir,
I am writing on behalf of our company to make my sincere apologies for the delay. We take full responsibility and we will do our utmost to settle the matter.
The reason of the delay is that we found out your camera highly defective when we got it. Without no doubt, we could not send you a broken camera. Unfortunately, our company had to wait for the next delivery from our suppliers. However, we have already received your goods. The camera you ordered will be delivered within 24 hours.
I want to apologize again, and as a compensation for the discomfort you had to bear, please accept our small gift, which includes a carry case and 3 movies. I hope you will forgive the regrettable error.
Yours sincerely,
John Doe
Thank you in advance :up:
 

calypsovoice

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Joined
Aug 14, 2010
Member Type
Student or Learner
Hello friend from Russia :) Here are my suggestions:

"found out" - replace with "discovered" or just "found"

"Without no doubt" - you should say "without doubt" or "without a/any doubt"

"will be delivered" - replace with "is going to be delivered"


"a compensation" - delete "a" because it's incorrect

"regrettable error" - it sounds like you are so desperate and so sorry that it just doesn't seem professional anymore.

Besides, if you begin your letter with "Dear Sir/Madam" - you should end it with "Yours faithfully" (you don't know or don't use the name of the recipient). That's why "Dear Mr Smith" goes with "Yours sincerely".

Hope it helped!
 

Etern1ty

Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2009
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Russian Federation
Hello! :)
"Without no doubt" - I looked it up in my dictionnary... I remember "without any doubt", I was so confused and finally dicided to choose Without no doubt. But, thanks, I guess without any doubt is much better
"regrettable error" I found in my book. They use very formal language for this kind of letters, so
I've never thought about endings. Why you use faithfully with Sir/Madam and sincerely with names?
Thank you:) I'm just studying english with FCE Books, like, simultaneously preparing for the exam and just studying. But I really hate the writing section :p
 
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