[General] Dear is the best using with female or male ?

[M!do]

Hi everyone,

Could I ask something, I used to use "dear" to call anybody I meet,
but before days, I met a british guy told me that is not nice to call the man with "dear", but you can use it with woman..

is that right ??

if yes, what can I use instead of "dear" to call new people ??

thanks in advance ;-)

 

[Tullia]

Some women will not like it either! I know I wouldn't, if someone I had only just met decided to use it.

It is a term of endearment, and can be considered patronising when used outside of a close relationship.

I would avoid it altogether except for use with people who are genuinely "dear" to you.


As for what to use instead... how about the person's name? You can't really go wrong with that.

 

[M!do]

thnx Tullia..

but, when you meet a new person ??

what you can call him ??

 

[Rover_KE]

Thanks, Tullia,

but when you meet a new person,

what you can call him/her?

'...sir', 'ma'am', 'miss'.

Rover

 

[Raymott]

Hi everyone,

Could I ask something, I used to use "dear" to call anybody I meet,
but before days, I met a british guy told me that is not nice to call the man with "dear", but you can use it with woman..

is that right ??

if yes, what can I use instead of "dear" to call new people ??

thanks in advance ;-)

It seems to be a common misconception among some Arabic-speaking people on this group that we call friends and acquaintances "dear". We don't. It is used by spouses and by parents for their children. Occasionally a middle-aged or elderly woman might call younger people "dear".
This misconception might have arisen from the salutation we use in letters "Dear X, ..."

It might sound charmingly naive calling someone 'dear' on a newsgroup, (and you'll notice that no native speaker does it) but I'm sure that the vast majority of English-speaking people would feel quite uncomfortable being called 'dear' in real life by strangers (apart from by maternally-inclined older women, which most people tolerate).

 

[Rover_KE]

Good point, that, Raymott.

Rover

 

[Abstract Idea]

More questions:

But what about the OP's question about masculine & feminine usage?

In a situation where it is OK to use "dear" would it suit equally well to be used for both men and women?

What about formal/informal letters/emails?
Particularly I find myself often in doubt regarding using "dear" in "semi-formal" emails (I mean neither exactly formal nor informal, but somewhere between).

 

[SoothingDave]

Not a teacher.

As a greeting in a letter, it can be used for either sex. "Dear Sir" or "Dear Madam" or "Dear Mr. Jones" or "Dear Ms. Johnson."

I would not use it in any other way, certainly not for someone whom I had just met.

One can refer to a person one knows very well as "my dear friend." Or in expressing sympathy "you poor dear" and that would not matter if the person was male or female.