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    • Join Date: Aug 2010
    • Posts: 10
    #1

    Exclamation did i make any grammatical mistakes?

    i have just written a poem but i just don't know if it is grammatically correct
    would you mind to check it for me please =]

    "Girl like her is hard to find and i can't get her off my mind
    Hope i can turn back time with a buttom called rewind
    Go back to my luckiest day which we firstly met
    Review my love while things haven't got complicated yet

    She might reject but i would never regret
    At worst i would just get my eyes wet
    Already fallen for her during our first talk
    just dare not enough as if a baby has no guts to walk

    Making jokes on stages and reading books with thousands of pages
    just dare not to say the three epic wors even for ages
    Saying you belongs with him was the biggest lie
    Regret trying to evade you as i said the word goodbye

    Time, let it rewind or just make it faster
    back to the day i was still not the shy bastard
    Boost up my courage to make her mine
    Dump my fear and and taste her lips of wine

    Destiny might be the on tied you and i together
    met you by accident but the relaionship kept going further
    Comforting each other tragedy by tragedy
    Impressing you from my poems to each of my live comedy

    Sometimes my efforts are ignored as young Picaso's art
    Some days for some reasons we were torn apart
    Cupid is with me telling me not to give up
    Stive for the best as Bekham fights for the word cup

    Would rather wait her for the rest of my life
    Than regret even after my death not to ask you for being my wife
    When the time comes, the three epic words will be said
    And i will either live happily ever after or just need some first aid"

    thanks for your Patience =]

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Tunisia
      • Current Location:
      • Tunisia

    • Join Date: Apr 2007
    • Posts: 292
    #2

    Re: did i make any grammatical mistakes?

    Did i make any grammatical mistakes?
    Quote Originally Posted by Wilestino View Post
    i have just written a poem but i just don't know if it is grammatically correct
    would you mind to check it for me please =]

    "A Girl like her is hard to find and I can't get her off my mind
    Hope I can turn back time with a buttom called rewind
    Go back to my luckiest day which when we firstly met
    Review (Reflect on/contemplate/ look back at/ etc) my love while things haven't got complicated yet

    She might reject but i would never regret
    At worst i would just get my eyes wet
    Already fallen for her during our first talk
    just dare not enough as if a baby has no guts to walk

    Making jokes on stages and reading books with thousands of pages
    just dare not to say the three epic words even for ages
    Saying you belongs with to him was the biggest lie
    Regret trying to evade you as i said the word goodbye

    Time, let it rewind or just make it faster
    back to the day i was still not the shy bastard
    Boost up my courage to make her mine
    Dump my fear and and taste her lips of wine

    Destiny might be the on tied you and i together !!
    Met you by accident, but the relaionship kept going further
    Comforting each other tragedy by tragedy
    Impressing you from my poems to each of my live comedy

    Sometimes my efforts are ignored as young Picaso's art
    Some days for some reasons we were torn apart
    Cupid is with me telling me not to give up
    Stive for the best as Bekham fights for the word cup

    Would rather wait her for the rest of my life
    Than regret even after my death not to ask you for being my wife
    When the time comes, the three epic words will be said
    And i will either live happily ever after or just need some first aid"

    thanks for your Patience =]
    Well, grammaticality is not necessary when writing poetry, But only real poets are usually allowed to violate the rules of language. I've just corrected some of the mistakes. Overall, you can take somemore time improving the poem, not only in terms of grammar, but also in terms of imagery, structure, meanings, etc
    Regards


    • Join Date: Aug 2010
    • Posts: 10
    #3

    Re: did i make any grammatical mistakes?

    Thanks a lot for correcting it =]

    and yea i will take some more time to improve it =]

    Thanks again =]

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