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    #1

    used in campaign for yachting

    I need help please! I work in this company, we manage, broker and charter yachts and now printing some documents we had translated by a company, but I am not sure about this:

    ''We pride ourselves in offering a completely transparent service to all our customers''. Would it not be better to use: ''We are proud to offer a .....''?

    Another one: ''This is what matters most to us'' I would say: ''This is what matters to us most''.... What do you think, please help. I love my English and what to make sure, it is perfect! Jana

  1. BobK's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: used in campaign for yachting

    Quote Originally Posted by kalamari View Post
    I need help please! I work in this company, we manage, broker and charter yachts and now printing some documents we had translated by a company, but I am not sure about this:

    ''We pride ourselves in offering a completely transparent service to all our customers''. Would it not be better to use: ''We are proud to offer a .....''?
    I think so: 'we take pride in'/'we pride ourselves on'. I think the writer has mixed these two - though I'm sure I've met 'We pride ourselves in' (and I wouldn't be surprised if there are stout defenders of this form!)

    Another one: ''This is what matters most to us'' I would say: ''This is what matters to us most''.... What do you think, please help. I love my English and what to make sure, it is perfect! Jana
    It's very good Jana, but either order is OK.

    b

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    #3

    Re: used in campaign for yachting

    If the service is transparent, it means you never notice it. Is that what they mean?

  2. BobK's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: used in campaign for yachting

    Afterthought: many people object to this use of 'transparent', as it doesn't preserve the idea of seeing through. What about 'trouble-free' (if the point is that problems are dealt with on the spot), or 'integrated' (if the point is that your service provides a 'one-stop shop') - it's not clear (!) from 'transparent' which of these (or possibly a combination...?) is meant.

    b

    PS I wrote this before seeing SD's post - but that just shows how troublesome this sort of 'transparent' can be.
    Last edited by BobK; 10-Sep-2010 at 17:55. Reason: added PS

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    #5

    Re: used in campaign for yachting

    Some businesses that provide a service use "transparent" to mean that they interface to your business in a manner that is so "seamless" that you don't notice that they are not a branch of your own company. That usage makes sense to me.

    Not sure what is meant here, so I asked.

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