Please help me to correct these sentences

Status
Not open for further replies.

JRD

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Hindi
Home Country
India
Current Location
India
Dear Sir,
We are a well established advertising company in the region. We are working in this field since [year]. We would like to inform you that we have now got a unique opportunity to serve you in the advertisement filed which would hep you to improve your business never before.
Your advertisement will be displayed on our LCD panel which is located at each counter at the Metro stations from xxxx to xxx
We, M/S xxxx can only do this work as awarded by our Metro Department. Kindly note that the spaces are limited so please place your order at the earliest.
All orders will be treated based on first come first service so do not wait till the end and fetch this rare opportunity to make your business wonderful.

Awaiting your valuable order



In case of any clarification, please feel free to contact undersigned.
[SIZE=+0][/SIZE]
 

e2e4

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2007
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Serbo-Croatian
Home Country
Bosnia Herzegovina
Current Location
Bosnia Herzegovina
/A learner/

Dear Sir,
We are a regional well-established advertising company. We've been working in this field since [year]. We would like to inform you that we have now got a unique opportunity to serve you in the advertisement filed which would help you improve your business as never before.
Your advertisement will be displayed on our LCD panels which are located at every counter at the Metro stations from xxxx to xxx.
M/S xxxx is a company that is authorised by the Metro Department. Kindly note that the spaces are limited so please place your order at the earliest.
All orders will be treated by way of "first come - first service" so do not wait till the end but get this rare opportunity to make your business successful.

Awaiting your valuable order

In case of any clarification, please feel free to contact the undersigned.

As, is.:-|
 

billmcd

Key Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
A few suggestions:

Dear Sir,

We are a well established advertising company in the region. We [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] have been working in this field since [year]. We would like to inform you that we [STRIKE]have now got [/STRIKE]now have a unique opportunity to serve you in the [STRIKE]advertisement[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]filed[/STRIKE]field of commercial advertising which [STRIKE]would[/STRIKE]could [STRIKE]hep[/STRIKE]help you [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] improve your business as never before.
Your advertisement [STRIKE]will[/STRIKE]would be displayed on our LCD panel which is located at each counter [STRIKE]at[/STRIKE]in the Metro stations from xxxx to xxx
We, M/S xxxx can only do this work as awarded by our Metro Department. Kindly note that [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] spaces are limited, so please place your order at the earliest.
All orders will be [STRIKE]treated based [/STRIKE] processed on a first come, first [STRIKE]service[/STRIKE]served basis so do not wait till [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]end[/STRIKE]all spaces have been reserved to take advantage of this rare opportunity to make your business [STRIKE]wonderful[/STRIKE]thrive.

Awaiting your valuable order



If you need more information, please feel free to contact undersigned.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JRD
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top