Help with an english text. (Present progressive, simple present and stative verbs)

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JonasPonas

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Sep 18, 2010
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Student or Learner
Hello. I'm from Norway.
We have an exerise in English this week. It is to write about a person.
We are practising on "stative verbs", "present progressive" and "simple present", so the text should contain a couple of those.

I was wondering is any of you English could take a look at what I wrote, and tell me if you see something wrong :)

Would be great :)

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Nightmare85

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Jul 17, 2009
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Interested in Language
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German
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Germany
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***Neither a teacher nor a native speaker.***

Hi,
Your text doesn't seem bad to me.
However, I'm not sure if it's good to start with such tiny sentences like:
This is Gregory Humphrey. Gregory is a 64-year-old man. He is now living in Oslo, but usually lives in Ohio.
If I were you, I would make one sentence out of it:
Gregory Humphrey is a 64-year-old man who's living in Oslo but usually lives in Ohio.
I don't say the first version is wrong, but it sounds a bit childish.
(Please don't take it as an insult!)
When you say "is living" you don't need to add now.
(Of course you can if you want.)

His favourite hobby is fishing, and Gregory is quite good at this.
And don't like the part "and Gregory".
Maybe you could write:
His
favourite hobby is fishing in what (or in which?) he is quite good.
Or probably:
His favourite hobby is fishing where he is quite good.

I have the feeling you should link these sentences:
Sadly, this is the only hobby that Gregory has. Except for the occasional golf trips he has with some of his clients.
The second sentence is not really a sentence if you ask me.
That's why you could say:
Sadly, this is the only hobby that Gregory has, except for the occasional golf trips he has/(makes) with some of his clients.
Beside (instead of except) sounds also good to me.
I would also accept:
Sadly, this is the only hobby that Gregory has. (Except for the occasional golf trips he has/(makes) with some of his clients.)

I hope I could help you a bit.

Cheers!
 
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