[Essay] Urgent,could you please check my SOP?

[Targol]

[FONT=&quot]Dear madam/sir[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] My name is T……. and I’m writing this letter to express my interest in applying for a master’s degree at your university.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] As an Iranian , I was born and raised in an ancient architectural enviornment of old Persia . [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As a child I was always interested in old buildings and how architects put so much time and energy to make these beautiful structures. I could spend hours in my aunt’s house, which was more than 150 years old and look at the detailed plaster ceilings and the beautiful play of shadow and sun at the porch made by columns and archs.[/FONT]

I think when a person is engaged in what his keen interest blossoms, he will never feel tired, instead he would feel motivated and have an enriching experience .After obtaining my associate degree in architecture successfully as the top student of my class I started working a full time job for 2 years in one of the leading architecture offices in My hometown. Working in a professional environment helped me develop my designing skills, conceptualization, team work, direct interaction with clients and associates. It also strengthened my skills with various software’s like AutoCAD, Photoshop, Corel draw and 3d max.getting married at the same time, apparently I had enough intention to concern but my desire to learn didn’t leave me alone,so I started studying in English translation and got my Bachelor degree, meanwhile I had started my part time job as a high school teacher but I felt as if the associate degree of architecture isn’t enough for me and there is still so much more I want to learn in this field so in the last year of my Bachelor degree in English translation I started studying and preparing to get accepted in the entrance exam for bachelor degree of architecture. I worked hard and I got accepted. so in a period of my life I was at the last semester of my English Translation at the same time it was my first semester of associate to bachelor degree of architecture ,I still had my responsibilities at the office and at the in a high school and I was also a housewife. I worked hard and never complained.maybe if I didn’t have enough motivation I’d quit but My interest for architecture was so immense that I attended and completed each course of my bachelor degree with absolute sincerity and passion.I was older compared to my other classmates and I had my job experience both as a high Scholl teacher and architect ,so I felt more close to my professors and tried to assist them in every class I had by giving lecturees.my lectures during my study became very popular among my classmates and it encouraged me to think about becoming a university professor maybe someday in future. During my study I didn’t loose any chance to do a research with the guide of my professors,the highlights were my 3 conferences about “conceptual art and conceptual architecture”,”urban planning ,…..” and a very successful conference about “matsoshita” in my project management course.I gained excellent achievements in the major courses of my college study .being considered among the top 10% of my class, encouraged me to choose a challenging subject for my thesis to prove that I deserve what my professors believed in me. The subject of my thesis was building theatrical complex based on the cultural history of a well known street in my hometown. I worked on this subject for 2 years which is way more than the regular time bachelor students work on their thesis.I wasn’t just designing a theatrical complex I looked at the subject and the problems from both architectural and urban planning point of view.I also tried to do a complete historical research about the area.I observed and highlighted the problems of new constructions in that old area, gave some urban planning solutions for the site, and then designed my theatrical complex. My proffessor, Mr.Ahmadi was a great help for me and encouraged me to work as hard as I can as far as I enjoyed working.at the end it turned out to be a complete project of both Urban planning and architectural degn and The result was great, it was one of the best theses done in my university and I got 19 out of 20 .
[FONT=&quot] To be honest I can’t choose a specific field to continue my study ,I’m sure even if I choose Urban planning, I’m gonna study and research myself in architecture and architecture design and Visa vers. Through my studies I became fascinated with in issues that affect urban development and future of urbanity.

[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] During these years I’ve tried to use every opportunity to become a better architect ,I’ve attended different courses like interior design,computer skills.I have also continuously learned new ideas in architecture from different countries. I’ve translated several articles on different subject from English to my mother tong language. And I’ve traveled a lot.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] The reason why I’ve chosen your university is that,I traveled to Italy twice during the past couple of years and I loved the everythin about it,I can find everything I had always dreamed from art to culture to amazing historical sites and buildings and ofcourse friendly people.it seemed to me that many years ago both our countries have done great jobes in architecture’s and I am interested to use this chance to study and learn more about it.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot] After the recent presidential election in Iran,there is not much chance for the young generation to have high hopes for their futures,specialy for those with different political believes as the government.it seemes that no one realy cares about people let alone buildings/architecture and the way our hometowns looks ,it hurts a lot and I wish I could do something about it.the only thing I can think of now is to widen my view of knowledge by studing abroad and mayeb one day I can become a proffessor in my own country and teach younger generation how to love and respect their environment.beging accepted in your university gives me this opportunity to breath in the air where people respect and care about art. I am a hard-working and determined person, and I am ready for a new leap in my career. I enjoy hard work in any subject related to architect and I don’t feel tired of working long time. Your Master program is intensive and covers all topics of my interest with the best possible infrastructure provided by the university.The only sensible decision for me is to aim for such a place. No need to say that the location of your university is also an attractive factor; I look forward to having a great learning experience and a memorable stay in your city.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Yours [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]T.kh[/FONT]

 

[Targol]

HI
Thanks,
Actually, I’m surprised!!!
It is my very first draft and I didn’t expect to receive any replies,I though, I’ll give it a try!Thanks again for your quick reply, I’ll work on it.

 

[Targol]

Dear madam/sir

My name is T……. and I’m writing this letter to express my interest in applying for a master of science in architecture at your university.

I have always been curious and interested about architecture ever since I can remember, but when it came to university entrance exam I got accepted at electronic engineering! While I was studying at that field for a year, every day and during every class I couldn’t help but think, this is not what I’ve always dreamed of, this wasn’t my goal. After finishing the first year I made my somehow brave choice and changed my field and start my study in architecture in associate degree, knowing that at least I am in the right way to achieve my goal.
I obtaining my associate degree in architecture successfully as the top student of my class and I started working a full time job for 2 years in one of the leading architecture offices in my hometown. Working in a professional environment helped me develop my designing skills, conceptualization, team work, direct interaction with clients and associates. It also strengthened my skills with various software packages like AutoCAD, Photoshop, Corel draw and 3D max. being married and a full time worker, never stopped me from being concentrated on my studies and achieving a high level of knowledge (as well as good grades), I wanted to stay connected to the academic environment so I started studying in English translation and got my Bachelor degree, meanwhile I had started my part time job as a high school teacher. Feeling that the associate degree of architecture isn’t enough for me and having the desire to study more in this field, in the last year of my Bachelor degree in English translation I started studying and preparing to get accepted in the entrance exam for bachelor degree of architecture. I worked hard and I got accepted. So There was a time when I still had both my jobs as an architect and a teacher, I had to pass 21 credits in my last semester of English translation and 14 credits for my first semester of architecture and I was also a housewife. maybe if I didn’t have enough motivation I’d quit but My interest for architecture was so immense that I never complained. I attended and completed each course of my bachelor degree with absolute sincerity and passion. Since I was older compared to my other classmates and I had my job experience both as a high School teacher and architect, I felt more close to my professors and tried to assist them in every class I had by giving lectures. My lectures during my study became very popular among my classmates and it encouraged me to think about becoming a university professor someday in future. During my study I didn’t loose any chance to do a research with the guide of my professors, the highlights were my 3 conferences about “conceptual art and conceptual architecture”,” the value of urban design” and a very successful conference about “Matsoshita” in my project management course. I gained excellent achievements in the major courses of my college study .being considered among the top 10% of my class, encouraged me to choose a challenging subject for my thesis to prove that I deserve what my professors believed in me. The subject of my thesis was building a theatrical complex based on the cultural history of a well known street in my hometown. I worked on this subject for 2 years which is way more than the regular time bachelor students work on their thesis. I wasn’t just designing a theatrical complex I looked at the subject and the problems from both architectural and urban planning point of view. I also tried to do a complete historical research about the area. I observed and highlighted the problems of new constructions in that old area gave some urban planning solutions for the site and then designed my theatrical complex. At the end it turned out to be a complete project of both urban planning and architectural design and the result was a success. It was one of the best thesis done in my university and I got 19 out of 20.
During these years I’ve tried to use every opportunity to become a better architect, I’ve attended different courses like interior design and computer skills. I have also continuously learned new ideas in architecture from different countries. I’ve translated several articles on different subject from English to my native language. And I’ve traveled abroad a lot including them was two travels to Italy during the last two years. I have always dreamed of continuing my study in Italy and my recent visits gave me the motivation even more. Your Master program is intensive and covers all topics of my interest with the best possible infrastructure provided by the university. I am a hard-working and determined person, and I am ready for a new leap in my career. Having the goal of getting my PhD and starting my work in university the only sensible decision for me is to aim for such a place. I look forward to having a great learning experience and a memorable stay in your city.

Yours truly
T kh

 

[Targol]

My name is T……. and I’m writing this letter to express my interest in applying for a master’s degree at your university.

As an Iranian , I was born and raised in an ancient architectural environment of old Persia .As a child I was always interested in old buildings and how architects put so much time and energy to make these beautiful structures. I would spend hours looking at the detailed plaster ceilings and the beautiful play of shadow and sun at the porches made by columns and arches.

I was determined to study architecture, but as a result of a complicated university entrance system in Iran, I ended up studying in electronic engineering. During which I couldn’t stop thinking that this is not the goal I had in mind. I eventually quit that field after a year and found my way back to architecture by enrolling in an associate degree in architecture. I successfully obtained the degree as the top student of my class. And I started working full time in one of the leading architecture offices in my hometown.

Working in a professional environment helped me develop my designing skills, conceptualization, team work, direct interaction with clients and associates. It also strengthened my skills with various software packages like AutoCAD, Photoshop, Corel draw and 3D max.

I also wanted to stay connected to the academic environment so I started studying English translation and got my Bachelor degree, meanwhile I had started my part time job as a high school teacher. Feeling that the associate degree of architecture isn’t enough for me and having the desire to study more in this field, in the last year of my Bachelor degree in English translation I started studying and preparing to get accepted in the entrance exam for bachelor degree of architecture. I worked hard and got accepted, Which led to a very busy and productive period in my life where I was still working at two jobs and studying at two universities, but all these never stopped me from being concentrated on my studies and achieving a high level of knowledge (as well as good grades).

Since I was older compared to my other classmates and I had my job experience both as a high School teacher and architect, I felt more close to my professors and tried to assist them in every class I had by giving lectures. My lectures during my study became very popular among my classmates and it encouraged me to think about becoming a university professor someday in future. During my study I didn’t loose any chance to do a research with the guide of my professors, the highlights were my 3 conferences about “conceptual art and conceptual architecture”,” the value of urban design” and a very successful conference about “Matsoshita” in my project management course. I gained excellent achievements in the major courses of my college study.

Being among the top 10% of my class, encouraged me to choose a challenging subject for my thesis. The subject of my thesis was building a theatrical complex based on the cultural history of a well known street in my hometown. I worked on this subject for 2 years which is way more than the regular time bachelor students work on their thesis. I wasn’t just designing a theatrical complex I looked at the subject and the problems from both architectural and urban planning point of view. I also tried to do a complete historical research about the area. I observed and highlighted the problems of new constructions in that old area gave some urban planning solutions for the site and then designed my theatrical complex. At the end it turned out to be a complete project of both urban planning and architectural design and the result was a success. It was one of the best thesis done in my university and I got 19 out of 20.
During these years I’ve tried to use every opportunity to become a better architect, I’ve attended different courses like interior design and computer skills. I have also continuously learned new ideas in architecture from different countries. I’ve translated several articles on different subject from English to my native language. And I’ve traveled abroad a lot including two travels to Italy during the last two years. I have always dreamed of continuing my study in Italy and my recent visits gave me the motivation even more. Your Master program is intensive and covers all topics of my interest with the best possible infrastructure provided by the university. I am a hard-working and determined person, and I am ready for a new leap in my career. Having the goal of getting my PhD and continuing an academic career in my country, the only sensible decision for me is to aim for such a place.

Thank you for considering my application
T.... k

 

[Targol]

My name is T ……….. and I’m writing this letter to express my sincere interest in applying for a master’s degree at your university.
As an Iranian being born and raised in an ancient architectural environment of old Persia I have grown up to appreciate art and architecture. As a child I have always been interested in old structures and amused how architects put so much time and energy to make these beautiful masterpieces. I would spend hours looking at the detailed plaster ceilings and the beautiful play of shadow and sun at the porches made by columns and arches.
At the beginning of my academic career I was determined to study architecture, but as a result of a complicated university entrance system in Iran, I ended up studying in the field of electronic engineering. From the first semester in electronic engineering school I couldn’t stop thinking that this is not the goal I had in mind. I eventually quit the engineering school after a year and found my way back to my first and only love by enrolling in an associate degree program in architecture at XYZ College. I successfully finished my studies and graduated at the top of my class. Shortly after graduation I started working full time in one of the prestigious architecture firms in my hometown.
Working in a professional environment helped me develop my designing skills, conceptualization, team work as well as direct interaction with clients and associates. It also strengthened my skills with various software packages such as AutoCAD, Photoshop, Corel draw and 3D-Max.
The desire not to lose touch with academia, hunger for learning more about architectures outside my home country and desire for eventually studying abroad made me decide to study English translation. By learning a new language I had opened up new doors into my future. I obtained my Bachelor degree and meanwhile I had started my part time job as a high school teacher. Knowing the associate degree in architecture does not fulfill my passion for this field in the last year of my Bachelor degree program in English translation I started preparation for the entrance exam for Bachelor degree in architecture. I worked very hard and was accepted. Now a busy and productive chapter of my life had started a chapter I am very proud of. By now I was working at two jobs and studying at two different universities, but all these never stopped me from being focused on my goals and didn’t deter me from achieving highest levels academically as well as professionally.
At the university since I was older compared to my other classmates and with few years of job experience both as a high school teacher and architect I felt closer to my professors and they relied on me to help in the classroom activities. At some point I was acting as teacher aide and gave lectures on occasions. My lectures during my study became very popular among my classmates, my success and encouragement of others inspired me to think about becoming a university professor someday in the future. During my studies I didn’t loose any opportunity to conduct various researches under the guidance of my professors; three of which stand out: “conceptual art and conceptual architecture”,” the value of urban design” and a very successful conference about “Matsoshita” in my project management course. My passion for architecture and dedication to succeed resulted in excellent achievements in the major courses of my college studies.
Being among the top 10 percent of my class and competition among top students motivated me to choose a challenging subject for my thesis. The subject of my thesis was building a theatrical complex based on the cultural history of a well known street in my hometown. I worked on this subject for 2 years which is substantially more than the average time it takes for a bachelor student to work on their thesis. I wasn’t just designing a theatrical complex I looked at the subject and the problems from both architectural and urban planning point of view. I also tried to do a complete historical research about the area. I observed and highlighted the problems of a new construction in the middle of a historical area and prepared urban planning solutions for the site and finally designed my theatrical complex based on the solutions while maintaining historical integrity of the site. At the end it was a successful and complete project consisting of both urban planning and architectural design. It was one of the best theses done in the recent history of my university and I received 19 out of 20 possible points.
During these years I’ve tried to use every opportunity to become a better architect, I have also attended different courses in interior design and sharpened my computer skills. I have continuously studied new ideas in architecture from different countries. I’ve translated several articles on different subject from English to my native language. And I’ve traveled abroad numerous times including two visits to Italy within the last two years. I have always been fascinated and admired Italian architecture and dreamt of continuing my study in Italy. Your Master program is an intensive and comprehensive program which covers all topics of my interest with the best possible infrastructure provided by the university. I am a very dedicated, hard-working and determined person, and I am ready for new and exciting challenges in my academic career. My ultimate goal is to receive my PhD and continue my career as a professor in my country. I know I will not stop until I have achieved my goal as I have persistently shown in my life up until today. I am very excited about this opportunity and I sincerely hope the admissions committee finds my background and strengths commensurate with the requirements of XYZ masters program at your university.

Thank you very much for considering my application
T………