[Essay] Intelligence : does gender matter ?

[elkpun]

Hi,

I try to write an essay (150 words) about that subject. Here is my introduction and my first paragraph. Could you correct my mistakes me, please ? This is the really first time I have to write in english, so...


In my opinion, the gender doesn't matter when we talk about intelligence. In the following paragraph, I will show that the biological differences between men and women are not a factor of intelligence differences. Then I will take some exemples of women well-know for their work in mathematics or physics. Finally, I will relativize the concept of intelligence.

According to most of the studies, men and women do not have the same brain characteristics. For example, men's brain are about 10 % bigger than women's brain. Yet, in some regions of the women's brain are neurons more densely packed. But does the size actually matter ? Definitely not. Thus, if a difference exists, it's not for a biological reason.

Through the history, women have made advancements in the realm of science. Marie Curie, for example, is the most famous physicist. We may talk about these women for years. But we can answer that question : were these women intelligent ? Definitely yes.

By the way, which definition could you make of intelligence ? Most of us are going to definite it as the ability to know and understand. In fact, people think that mathematical and spatial abilities are the best representation of intelligence. And because men are better at rotating 3-D objects in their minds, people think that women are less intelligent. But they don't. Actually, they are better verbal skills and social sensivities. All depends on which definition of intelligence you give.

thanks !

 

[Slow_Learner]

"In my opinion, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE]personal gender doesn't matter when we talk about intelligence. In the following paragraphs, I will show that the biological difference[STRIKE]s[/STRIKE] between men and women is not a factor of intelligent differences. Then I will give some examples of women who are well-know for their works in mathematics or physics. Finally, I will define the concept of intelligence. (I don't know what you mean when you write: biological difference between men and women is not a factor of intelligent differences. My opinion is that I consider biological difference between men and women is something bigger than intelligent differences, that means biological differences between men and women includes intelligent differences. But to be clear, you can say: Biological difference between... does not contribute greatly to intelligent different. Woman can be as smart as man is.)
[STRIKE]
According to most of the studies,[/STRIKE]Most scientific studies show that men and women do not have the same brain characteristics. For example, men's brains are about 10 percent bigger than women's brains. Yet, in some regions of the women's brain, neurons are more densely packed. But does the brain size actually matter ? Definitely not. Thus, if a difference exists, it's not for a biological reason.

Through the history, women have made advancements in the realm of science. Marie Curie, for example, is the most famous physicist. We may talk about these women for years. But we can answer that question : were these women intelligent ? Definitely yes.

By the way, what definition could you make of intelligence ? Most of us are going to define it as the ability to know and understand. In fact, people think that mathematical and spatial abilities are the best representations of intelligence. And because men are better at rotating 3-D objects in their minds, people think that women are less intelligent. But they don't. Actually, they are better in verbal skills and social sensivities. All depends on which definition of intelligence you give.

 

[Abstract Idea]

Hi,

I try to write an essay (150 words) about that subject. Here is my introduction and my first paragraph. Could you correct my mistakes me, please ? This is the really first time I have to write in english, so...


In my opinion, the gender doesn't matter when we talk about intelligence. In the following paragraph, I will show that the biological differences between men and women are not a factor of intelligence differences. Then I will take some exemples of women well-know for their work in mathematics or physics. Finally, I will relativize the concept of intelligence.

According to most of the studies, men and women do not have the same brain characteristics. For example, men's brain are about 10 % bigger than women's brain. Yet, in some regions of the women's brain are neurons more densely packed. But does the size actually matter ? Definitely not. Thus, if a difference exists, it's not for a biological reason.

Through the history, women have made advancements in the realm of science. Marie Curie, for example, is the most famous physicist. We may talk about these women for years. But we can answer that question : were these women intelligent ? Definitely yes.

By the way, which definition could you make of intelligence ? Most of us are going to definite it as the ability to know and understand. In fact, people think that mathematical and spatial abilities are the best representation of intelligence. And because men are better at rotating 3-D objects in their minds, people think that women are less intelligent. But they don't. Actually, they are better verbal skills and social sensivities. All depends on which definition of intelligence you give.

thanks !

You said you would mention well known female physicists and mathematicians but you only mentioned Marie Curie. It would be interesting if you also mentioned Chien-Shiung Wu and Emmy Noether.

 

[Raymott]

You said you would mention well known female physicists and mathematicians but you only mentioned Marie Curie. It would be interesting if you also mentioned Chien-Shiung Wu and Emmy Noether.

[To elkpun]
It's also one of the weakest arguments when you're trying to show there is no correlation between sex and something when you merely point out a few women (or men) who have that attribute. And especially when you have to go back 100 years to find one! - that tends to diminish your argument, if anything. If you cite Marie Curie, I can cite Paris Hilton or Sarah Palin to disprove your case.

 

[birdeen's call]

@Elkpun
We don't use spaces before punctuation:

intelligence ? -> wrong
intelligence? -> right

 

[birdeen's call]

According to most of the studies, men and women do not have the same brain characteristics. For example, men's brain are about 10 % bigger than women's brain. Yet, in some regions of the women's brain are neurons more densely packed. But does the size actually matter ? Definitely not. Thus, if a difference exists, it's not for a biological reason.

That the size matters is a well-known fact. And by saying this I'm not only trying to be funny. The quoted paragraph seems illogical to me. You give some information and than give it up saying it doesn't matter. AND, you don't justify your opinion in any way. It's not a good idea because it leaves the reader with an impression that your arguments are weaker than what you argue against.

 

[Slow_Learner]

To Birdeen's call:
Yes, you made a good point here. When I read this essay, I felt somehow that the arguments were not well-connected, it liked the writer had jumped from one ideas to the others without clear thought about how to present each topic (Sorry elkpun, I'm not trying to embarrass you, but just try to talk how I felt when I read your essay, hope it help you improve your writing)

I think when elkpun wrote that "size does not matter, he already implied that because man's brain is 10 percent bigger than woman's brain, but women are compensated with more concentrated packed neurons. That makes women are as smart as men are since brain's sized differences do not matter any more. Does it make sense to you Birdeen.

It is good to have some people discuss writing and ideas here since it makes writing and revising become more interesting. Thank everyone.