1. All children watch TV but maybe it’s not such a good thing.
2. On one hand, television can teach you lots of things, like the alphabet and maths. Sesame Street is really popular and there are lots of other programmes which I think are good and you can learn things from them.
3. Nevertheless, children’s TV makes kids think it’s cool to swear and fight, which leads to accidents from them fighting.
4. Nonetheless, children become addicted to the television. They stay inside all day which is just lazy and unhealthy. This makes children overweight.
5. Watching too many cartoons can block children’s imagination and when writing stories children get ideas from programmes which also block imagination.
6. However, we might start watching unsuitable adult TV if there was no more kids TV. This could show swearing and other things of that sort.
7. On the other hand, television is a great source of employment. It provides work for everyone. In addition children can improve acting skills and adults can work but have fun too.
8. However, television is also a social thing. People talk about programmes the next day with friends and I like seeing what my friends think about things. And having discussions improves skills in school.
9. In conclusion, many people will have their say as there are plenty of arguments on both sides.
Can you help me to solve the following problem?
1. Please help me to use your linguistic analysis to assess the language competence of the student . What would you diagnose as being his/her main problems? What areas of language would you focus on to further develop his/her control of English? What kinds of activities might you use?
Look at the way they use 'and. Theey just keep sticking things together, often withou8t much punctuation:
Sesame Street is really popular and there are lots of other programmes which I think are good and you can learn things from them.
Or this example:
And having discussions improves skills in school.
Here. it is not a sentence, just part of the previous sentence. Better co-ordination of clauses would improve their style a lot. Look at the way 'nevertheless' is used. They have tried 'nonetheless' for variety, but the structure is the same and they are using them to pile points on, which is wrong, certainly in the 'nonetheless' sentence.
Ideas are jumbled- 3 & 6 deal with swearing, so organisation could be worked on.
If the number reflect the paragraphs, then that's another area in need of work.