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    #1

    Question [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    I'm 14 and I live in India, my grammar and English is weak especially my vocabulary. I got invited in a Gaming Conference for the first time. I really wanted to use 'new' words in this speech. Please correct grammar mistakes and replace any phrase or word that you think can make the speech better. And can you make this speech so that it would look like a English 'adult' have wrote this.

    \\ Beginning of Speech //

    " Making of Terror Attack: Project Fateh: What I learnt by making this game.

    My presentation will be about what I did to make the game, how I did it, why I did it, what were the limitations , how I overcame them, what problems I faced and how I solved it. UTV IndiaGames Ltd. played a big role in making this game what it is now, I’ll also talk about how they helped me in the creation of this game. I will start off by giving an overview of the game.

    Terror Attack: Project Fateh is a 3D PC First-Person Shooter game that is based on the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks. The game overall took about a year to complete. It is created on FPS Creator with the help of a mod created on Dark BASIC to extend the engine's limit's.The controls of this game is very simple and familiar to FPS gamers that is WASD keys. “The simpler you can make the control of the game, the more playable it is.” “If a player has to take his mind off your game to think about the controls, the illusion is lost, concentration is broken, and you have lost your player.” To make you guys more familiar with how the game look like I’ll show some screenshots of the game.

    When I started making this game I knew that I’m taking a challenge. Creating a game is a challenge, you will face lots of problems, and you will have to solve them. But before all those things happen, I have to start the pre-production. In my older games that were not published, I didn’t used to write Game Design Document or scripts/storyline of games before production, I used to jump straight to production. But in this game, for the first time, I gave time to pre-production phase of the game as much as I can. Giving pre-production time is important, the game is likely to be made in time if the GDD of the game describes it well. “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Whenever I needed help I emailed the document to Varun Bhaiya, Sachin Sir and Vishal Sir of IndiaGames. And they helped make the GDD professional and the game idea more fun to be played. “A good game has to have a fun core, which is a one-sentence description of why it's fun.” I wrote everything in the GDD from guns, terrorists to health-packs. I followed the well-known rule in this game “Keep the rules of the game simple. Ideally, first-time players should understand and enjoy the game without instructions.” Probably 1 and a half month was passed in the pre-production.

    Now comes the exciting phase, production. I started developing the game. The idea of the game started to turn into reality. The feedbacks from the folks at IndiaGames helped shape the game more beautifully. Using a tool to make a game is very limited. This game was not a regular FPS Creator game, the engine is easy but the complexity of the game idea led me to change the engine pretty much. The engine was very limited than I imagined. The scripting in this engine is called “FPI”. It’s a scripting language based on condition and actions commands. Due to a limited number of commands and not having the ability of the engine to let the user create new commands, I had to do something. The game was not possible to be made with such a limited scripting options. So, after weeks of brainstorming, I found a way to extend the limitations of the engine. FPS Creator was made using Dark BASIC, and it has open source code, so I fired up Dark BASIC and started off altering the codes to create new commands that I needed. On some stages I also used some ready-made modifications. I used 3D Studio MAX to create the level, and then imported it to the engine. The ready-made AI (Artificial Intelligence) script was so dumb that I had to re-write all AIs. Another problem I faced is that most people in ‘India’ do not have high-end or gaming computers, so I have to speed up the loading of the game, reduce texture quality and lighting. Another thing that is new in the development of Project Fateh than my old home-made games is that I used to make games by altering the idea to what I can do easily, but in this game the idea was not altered while I put a lot of effort in developing even If I ‘think’ its not possible. I also faced some other problems for the first time. Because the subject of the game is sensitive, I always had to keep some limitations. This game was not a fiction, it was based on reality, so I can’t just replace the things I am having trouble with. There were some stages in the development of this game, when I got really tough problems and making my mind think that it is impossible to fix that. “Computers can never replace human stupidity.” Even after weeks of effort when I didn’t found a way to fix some of the bugs, I used to think ‘sometimes’ that the game is never going to finish. I backed my self up that this game should not end up like some of my past home-made games have. But I learnt making this game that we should never give up, we should stick to the idea and make it to the release.

    After months of day-night hard-work and brainstorming, weeks of testing and bug-fixing, the game finally made it to the finish. I have to say though, folks at UTV IndiaGames helped make this game what it is now, without them the game would just be one of my home-made games laying somewhere in my room, incomplete and unfinished. My first ‘real’ game was published all over the world through internet on ProjectFateh.com for free. I created a teaser and a full trailer in Adobe After Effects to post on the website. The idea of the game was not to complete with other games in the market, this game is very different and unique to do that. After the game published, we got more players and reviews than we excepted. Good reviews are sure make us feel good but a bad review feels like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. But I take comments and reviews seriously and learn from them."


    \\ Ending of Speech //




    Thanks for taking time :)
    Last edited by shivam3d; 21-Jan-2011 at 11:53.

  1. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by shivam3d View Post
    I'm 14 and I live in India, my grammar and English is weak especially my vocabulary. I got invited in a Gaming Conference for the first time. I really wanted to use 'new' words in this speech. Please correct grammar mistakes and replace any phrase or word that you think can make the speech better. And can you make this speech so that it would look like a English 'adult' have wrote this.

    \\ Beginning of Speech //
    " Making of Terror Attack: Project Fateh: What I learnt by making this game.

    My presentation will be about what I did to make the game, how I did it, why I did it, what were the limitations , how I overcame them, what problems I faced and how I solved it. UTV IndiaGames Ltd. played a big role in making this game what it is now, I’ll also talk about how they helped me in the creation of this game. I will start off by giving an overview of the game.

    Terror Attack: Project Fateh is a 3D PC First-Person Shooter game that is based on the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks. The game overall took about a year to complete. It is created on FPS Creator with the help of Dark BASIC. The controls of this game is very simple and familiar to FPS gamers that is WASD keys. “The simpler you can make the control of the game, the more playable it is.” “If a player has to take his mind off your game to think about the controls, the illusion is lost, concentration is broken, and you have lost your player.” To make you guys more familiar with how the game look like I’ll show some screenshots of the game.

    When I started making this game I knew that I’m taking a challenge. Creating a game is a challenge, you will face lots of problems, and you will have to solve them. But before all those things happen, I have to start the pre-production. In my older games that were not published, I didn’t used to write Game Design Document or scripts/storyline of games before production, I used to jump straight to production. But in this game, for the first time, I gave time to pre-production phase of the game as much as I can. Giving pre-production time is important, the game is likely to be made in time if the GDD of the game describes it well. “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Whenever I needed help I emailed the document to Varun Bhaiya, Sachin Sir and Vishal Sir of IndiaGames. And they helped make the GDD professional and the game idea more fun to be played. “A good game has to have a fun core, which is a one-sentence description of why it's fun.” I wrote everything in the GDD from guns, terrorists to health-packs. I followed the well-known rule in this game “Keep the rules of the game simple. Ideally, first-time players should understand and enjoy the game without instructions.” Probably 1 and a half month was passed in the pre-production.

    Now comes the exciting phase, production. I started developing the game. The idea of the game started to turn into reality. The feedbacks from the folks at IndiaGames helped shape the game more beautifully. Using a tool to make a game is very limited. This game was not a regular FPS Creator game, the engine is easy but the complexity of the game idea led me to change the engine pretty much. The engine was very limited than I imagined. The scripting in this engine is called “FPI”. It’s a scripting language based on condition and actions commands. Due to a limited number of commands and not having the ability of the engine to let the user create new commands, I had to do something. The game was not possible to be made with such a limited scripting options. So, after weeks of brainstorming, I found a way to extend the limitations of the engine. FPS Creator was made using Dark BASIC, and it has open source code, so I fired up Dark BASIC and started off altering the codes to create new commands that I needed. On some stages I also used some ready-made modifications. I used 3D Studio MAX to create the level, and then imported it to the engine. The ready-made AI (Artificial Intelligence) script was so dumb that I had to re-write all AIs. Another problem I faced is that most people in ‘India’ do not have high-end or gaming computers, so I have to speed up the loading of the game, reduce texture quality and lighting. Another thing that is new in the development of Project Fateh than my old home-made games is that I used to make games by altering the idea to what I can do easily, but in this game the idea was not altered while I put a lot of effort in developing even If I ‘think’ its not possible. I also faced some other problems for the first time. Because the subject of the game is sensitive, I always had to keep some limitations. This game was not a fiction, it was based on reality, so I can’t just replace the things I am having trouble with. There were some stages in the development of this game, when I got really tough problems and making my mind think that it is impossible to fix that. “Computers can never replace human stupidity.” Even after weeks of effort when I didn’t found a way to fix some of the bugs, I used to think ‘sometimes’ that the game is never going to finish. I backed my self up that this game should not end up like some of my past home-made games have. But I learnt making this game that we should never give up, we should stick to the idea and make it to the release.

    After months of day-night hard-work and brainstorming, weeks of testing and bug-fixing, the game finally made it to the finish. I have to say though, folks at UTV IndiaGames helped make this game what it is now, without them the game would just be one of my home-made games laying somewhere in my room, incomplete and unfinished. My first ‘real’ game was published all over the world through internet on ProjectFateh.com for free. I created a teaser and a full trailer in Adobe After Effects to post on the website. The idea of the game was not to complete with other games in the market, this game is very different and unique to do that. After the game published, we got more players and reviews than we excepted. Good reviews are sure make us feel good but a bad review feels like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. But I take comments and reviews seriously and learn from them."


    \\ Ending of Speech //



    Thanks for taking time :)
    Shivam beta, this is really too much to ask of the volunteers on this site. If you send it to me in a private message, I will work on it but it will take time.

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    #3

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Hi thanks for replying bhaisahab, I am not able to find out how to send private message to you. I can't even send you visitor message, there is no box to post or no inbox... May you help me?

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by shivam3d View Post
    Hi thanks for replying bhaisahab, I am not able to find out how to send private message to you. I can't even send you visitor message, there is no box to post or no inbox... May you help me?
    Just click on his name, and you should find a route there.

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    #5

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    Just click on his name, and you should find a route there.
    Not really! You must have a specified number of posts to be allowed to send messages to other users.

  3. 5jj's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by birdeen's call View Post
    Not really! You must have a specified number of posts to be allowed to send messages to other users.
    Sorry.

  4. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Quote Originally Posted by shivam3d View Post
    Hi thanks for replying bhaisahab, I am not able to find out how to send private message to you. I can't even send you visitor message, there is no box to post or no inbox... May you help me?
    Apparently you can't do that, sorry. I've copied it to my computer, I'll send it to you when I have had time to work on it.

  5. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    My presentation will be about what I did to make the game, how I did it, why I did it, what were the limitations and how I overcame them, what problems I faced and how I solved them. UTV IndiaGames Ltd. played a big role in making this game what it is now, so I’ll also talk about how they helped me in its creation. I will start by giving an overview of the game.

    Terror Attack: Project Fateh is a 3D PC First-Person Shooter game that is based on the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks. The game overall took about a year to complete. It is created on FPS Creator with the help of Dark BASIC. The controls of this game are very simple and familiar to FPS gamers, WASD keys. “The simpler you can make the control of the game, the more playable it is.” “If a player has to take his mind off your game to think about the controls, thes illusion is lost, concentration is broken, and you have lost your player.” To make you guys more familiar with what the game looks like I’ll show some screenshots of the game.

    When I started making this game I knew that I was taking on a challenge. Creating a game is a challenge, you will face lots of problems, and you will have to solve them. But before all those things could happen, I had to start the pre-production. In my older games that were not published, I didn’t used to write a Game Design Document or scripts/storylines of games before production, I used to jump straight to production. But in this game, for the first time, I gave as much time to the pre-production phase of the game as I could. Giving pre-production time is important, the game is likely to be made in time if the GDD of the game describes it well. “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Whenever I needed help I emailed the document to Varun Bhaiya, Sachin Sir and Vishal Sir of IndiaGames and they helped me make the GDD professional and the game idea more fun to play. “A good game has to have a fun core, which is a one-sentence description of why it's fun.” I wrote everything in the GDD from guns, terrorists to health-packs. I followed the well-known rule in this game “Keep the rules of the game simple. Ideally, first-time players should understand and enjoy the game without instructions.” Probably one and a half months passed in the pre-production phase.



  6. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    Now came the exciting phase, production. I started developing the game. The idea of the game started to turn into reality. The feedback from the folks at IndiaGames helped shape the game more beautifully. Using a tool to make a game is very limited. This game was not a regular FPS Creator game, the engine is easy but the complexity of the game idea led me to change the engine pretty much. The engine was more limited than I had imagined. The scripting in this engine is called “FPI”. It’s a scripting language based on condition and action commands. Due to there being a limited number of commands and the engine not having the ability to let the user create new commands, I had to do something. It was not possible to make the game with such limited scripting options. So, after weeks of brainstorming, I found a way to extend the limitations of the engine. FPS Creator was made using Dark BASIC, and it has an open source code, so I fired up Dark BASIC and started off altering the codes to create new commands that I needed. On some stages I also used some ready-made modifications. I used 3D Studio MAX to create the level, and then imported it to the engine. The ready-made AI (Artificial Intelligence) script was so dumb that I had to re-write all AIs. Another problem I faced is that most people in ‘India’ do not have high-end or gaming computers, so I had to speed up the loading of the game, reduce texture quality and lighting. Another thing that is new in the development of Project Fateh compared with my old home-made games is that I used to make games by altering the idea to what I could do easily, but in this game the idea was not altered while I put a lot of effort into developing even If I thought it was not possible. I also faced some other problems for the first time. Because the subject of the game is sensitive, I always had to keep some limitations. This game was not a fiction, it was based on reality, so I couldn't just replace the things I was having trouble with. There were some stages in the development of this game when I got really tough problems that made me think that it was impossible to fix it. “Computers can never replace human stupidity.” Sometimes, after weeks of effort when I couldn'tfind a way to fix some of the bugs, I used to think that the game would never be finished. But I learnt making this game that we should never give up, we should stick to the idea and carry it through to the release.

    After months of day-night hard-work and brainstorming, weeks of testing and bug-fixing, the game finally made it to the finish. I have to say though, the folks at UTV IndiaGames helped make this game what it is now, without them the game would just be one of my home-made games laying somewhere in my room, incomplete and unfinished. My first ‘real’ game was published all over the world through internet on ProjectFateh.com for free. I created a teaser and a full trailer in Adobe After Effects to post on the website. The idea of the game was not to compete with other games in the market, this game is too different and unique to do that. After the game was published, we got more players and reviews than we expected. Good reviews are sure to make us feel good but a bad review feels like you have baked a cake with all the best ingredients and had someone sit on it. But I take comments and reviews seriously and learn from them."

  7. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: [Speech] Please review grammar mistakes

    I have made some suggestions which I think improve your text. I have had to post three times as there were too many characters apparently. I hope that you are happy with my suggestions. Your English is very good.

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