I have translated a poem into the English language, posted it in the forum related to literature and had no response, I need a review from a native speaker, if any is interested please let me know and I will post it here.
No, I'm not seeking for a literary criticism, I just need someone to review for me the use of the language (Grammars and word choice) that is all.
Then try posting it here and see what response you receive.
"The Traveling Eid"
like a rose
in a garden, forgotten.
in the presence
of my broken laughs.
And there is no pleasure
for my confused evenings,
their beautiful calm, the far one.
amity of the morning's pigeons.
When I was a little girl,
my only doll
Ever since, long time ago
my dear things
one following the other.
1. and was gone? and went?
2. I am not sure who or what the far one refers to. Perhaps you are saying that no pleasure can restore the far one, whoever that might be? If so, I can't see how their beautiful calm fits in.
3. Are you asking Grief to possess you, or saying that Grief possesses you?
4. was lost?
5. are getting lost?
I hope that helps, but I'm not sure that it does.