[General] please help to correct if there is any error

[GBEMY]

COMPLETION OF B.SC. PROGRAMME

This is to inform you that I am now through with my programme to obtain a Bachelor of Science degree award in computer science with a CGPA of 3.55 (Second Class (Hons.) Upper Division.

During these periods of working for the company, I have also obtained five Microsoft certificates after successfully passed many online examinations.

I am a worldwide recognized member of Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA), Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS), Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) and Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS).

The photocopy of certificates obtained during these periods of working for the company is attached as evidence for record purposes and necessary upgrades.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Thank you,

 

[billmcd]

COMPLETION OF B.SC. PROGRAMME

This is to inform you that I [STRIKE]am[/STRIKE] now [STRIKE]through[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE]completed my programme to obtain a Bachelor of Science degree award in computer science with a CGPA of 3.55 (Second Class (Hons.) Upper Division.

[STRIKE]During these periods of[/STRIKE]While working for the company, I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] also obtained five Microsoft certificates [STRIKE]after successfully[/STRIKE]having passed [STRIKE]many[/STRIKE]several online examinations.

I am a worldwide recognized member of Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA), Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS), Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) and Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS). (Are you recognized worldwide or are those titles recognized worldwide? If it's the titles, you should re-phrase as: I am a member of the worldwide recognized organizations MCSE etc., etc.)

The photocopy of certificates obtained during these periods of working for the company is attached as evidence for record purposes and necessary upgrades.

Thank you for your [STRIKE]cooperation[/STRIKE]consideration.

Thank you,

A few suggestions.

 

[camkevin]

This is what i want all of you to correct my mistake that i had made. Please kindly help me!
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studying abroad ​

[FONT=&quot] Nowadays, there are many people continue their studies outside their own country. They often think about improving their knowledge for a better life. To do that, they choose to study in developed countries where they can get progressive education. By moving to study abroad and living alone, we will have the benefit of force language speaking every time and everywhere. Nothing is better than to learn language with the native speakers. Hopefully, when coming back from that country, we can speak its language fluently. Moreover, it is also a good chance to discover the new environment, culture, history, way of thinking, customs, and lifestyle. we are also equipped learning institution with learning facilities and updated knowledge that we can practice with what we are learning greatly. last but not least, adapting to a new environment is a real challenge for every foreign student. While changing the weather can affect our health. Different cultures and customs will influence our mind, and make us become less confident or even a victim of discrimination. Every day of living, may turn into struggle for survival in a strange country. If we don't have enough physical and mental strength, we will fail to adjust ourselves in the new environment. Finally, we could neither study or gain beautiful experiences as we have expected. To sum up, [/FONT][FONT=&quot]while studying abroad, we will have developed skills and attitudes that will stay with us for a lifetime, but we need to guard ourselves by avoiding drugs, free-sex, and other criminal things. we can say that studying abroad is very challenging and competitive, but it doesn't mean it is impossible. [/FONT]

 

[euncu]

This is what i want all of you to correct my mistake that i had made. Please kindly help me!
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Dear camkevin,

Welcome to the forums.

Our members would be happy to help you but for this, they expect you to follow some simple rules. First of all, what you did on this thread is called thread-hijacking, that is, you asked for help for a totally different matter on another poster's thread. You should have started a brand new thread for your request.

Secondly, for our forums are one of the best choice for you to improve your English, it'd be a good step if you started to capitilize "i" for first person singular.

 

[camkevin]

Thanks. i am sorry. i will correct it later.

 

[GBEMY]

Thanks billmcd.

Would it be ok to rephrase it like this:

I am a holder of the worldwide recognized certificates such as Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA), Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS), Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) and Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS).

Thanks

 

[billmcd]

Thanks billmcd.

Would it be ok to rephrase it like this:

I am a holder of the worldwide recognized certificates such as Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE), Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA), Microsoft Certified Technology Specialist (MCTS), Microsoft Certified Professional (MCP) and Microsoft Office Specialist (MOS).

Thanks

Yes, that would better.