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    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Nov 2010
    • Posts: 4
    #1

    Hello Please check that for me

    Hello everyone

    Please check that for me.


    My name is Justyna and I am currently studying for a FETAC Level 6 in Business and Administration Studies at Coláiste Muire, Ballymote, Co. Sligo. I have to prepare project for Business Management. The title of my assignment is “Investigate and evaluate the internal and external environment of an organization”. I have chosen your company because is big, well organized and has a huge potential. I did some research and I visited your website but I still need some information which I couldn’t find. I would be very grateful if you could give some information about:
    • Company policies e.g. Employee Rights Policy, Communications Policy or any other policies that are in place
    • Departments in the organization and what they do? e.g. Finance, HR, Legal, Strategy & Planning, Technology, Marketing or any others
    I also have to prepare SWOT and PEST analysis for ESB so if you could send me any information which can help me with them I would be very thankful.


    Thank you

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • England

    • Join Date: Jun 2010
    • Posts: 24,453
    #2

    Re: Hello Please check that for me

    Quote Originally Posted by justosia View Post
    Hello everyone.

    Please check this for me.


    My name is Justyna and I am currently studying for a FETAC Level 6 in Business and Administration Studies at Coláiste Muire, Ballymote, Co. Sligo. I have to prepare a project for Business Management. The title of my assignment is “Investigate and evaluate the internal and external environment of an organization”.

    I have chosen your company because it is big, well organized and has a huge potential. I did some research and I visited your website but I still need some information which I couldn’t find. I would be very grateful if you could give some information about:
    • Company policies e.g. Employee Rights Policy, Communications Policy or any other policies that are in place;
    • Departments in the organization and what they do: e.g. Finance, HR, Legal, Strategy & Planning, Technology, Marketing or any others.

    I also have to prepare SWOT and PEST analysis for ESB so if you could send me any information which can help me with them I would be very thankful.


    Thank you
    Do not assume that everybody will understand your acronyms. Write them out in full, unless you repeat them later.

    Rover

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Nov 2010
    • Posts: 4
    #3

    Re: Hello Please check that for me

    OK Thank you.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: May 2009
    • Posts: 52
    #4

    Re: Hello Please check that for me

    My name is Justyna and I am currently studying for a FETAC Level 6 in Business and Administration Studies at Coláiste Muire, Ballymote, Co. Sligo. I AM PREPARING A project for Business Management. The title of my assignment is “Investigate and evaluate the internal and external environment of an organization”. I have chosen your company because IT IS SIZEABLE (WELL KNOWN? FAMOUS?), well organized and has a huge potential. I did some research and I visited your website but I still need some information which I couldn’t find. I would be very grateful if you could PROVIDE some information about:
    • Company policies e.g. Employee Rights Policy, Communications Policy or any other policies that are in place
    • Departments in the organization and what they do? e.g. Finance, HR, Legal, Strategy & Planning, Technology, Marketing or any others
    I also have to PREPARED SWOT and PEST analysis for ESB so if you could send me any information THAT COULD help me with them I would be very thankful.

    In addition to my suggestions above:

    If your assignment has a title, capitalize it. "Investigate and Evaluate the Internal..." If that is not actually the title, say: "My assignment is to investigate and evaluate the internal..."

    Not grammar, but style:

    In my opinion, it sounds unprofessional to say, "I chose your company because it is big". Try to choose a more graceful term.

    It is also unprofessional to say, "I have to...". It sounds like you are unwilling, or just doing this because you must. It is better to sound enthusiastic and willing! :)

    Similarly, "if you could give..." sounds a LITTLE BIT rude. "Provide" sounds more humble and more polite.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Polish
      • Home Country:
      • Poland
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Nov 2010
    • Posts: 4
    #5

    Re: Hello Please check that for me

    Thank you for all your suggestions.

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