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  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Japanese
      • Home Country:
      • Japan
      • Current Location:
      • Japan

    • Join Date: Nov 2010
    • Posts: 8

    Exclamation PLEASE HELP ME!

    This is my essay for my UC application that is due like in 5days!
    English is my second language so I really need help on grammar.
    Please help me!!!!!! Thank you!!

    A blank piece of paper will represent my world. I draw a stick figure to represent myself. Around the paper, I start writing significant things in my life and I draw lines between them; my world is full of connections. The connections I have with people, my community and this earth itself. The connections I built shape my dreams which is marketing, law and fashion and, color my world with numerous shades.
    The connections I evolved with people are like lands in my world; they are different and necessary. Every one of them affected my life in someway but some of them shaped my dreams and aspirations more than other people. Two such people are my father and my boss at a company I work for. My father explained to me how marketing is the basis of every business. Even when we were just shopping, he would teache me marketing skills such as branding when we are just shopping. He helped me to discover marketing as my fascination.
    My boss at a company where I am interning recently shaped my dream as well. I work at the Business Development/ Marketing Department at a law firm called Baker&Mckenzie. She is the who one who connected me with a new field of business; legal marketing. Many people do not connect some businesses with marketing such as law firms and hospitals but she taught me how marketing and law are necessities for every business in this world and it is also a creative side of business. Also working at Baker&Mckenize effected me to want to work in an international firm more because it is not male domination comparing to Japanese firms. I am not sure how many people I met in 19 years of my life but all of them influenced me and I find the connections I have with people are priceless.
    The connection I make with my community is like an ocean in my world; it is deep and different. I am from an International school community. Like ocean waves have different sizes and shapes,my community are diverse in races, religion and backgrounds. we all strive to be different individually yet function together as a group. My life changed the moment I entered to an International school. It helped me to spot what I want to value in this world and that is diversity. It expanded my outlook on life and I can proclaim that I would not be who I am now if I did not attend International School; it is my basis. I believe that it helped me to grow as a person. It developed various perspectives about history, culture and traditions. I can see histories as third person, I can adapt different ways of greeting people such as I bow for my Japanese teacher but shake hands with my English teacher and I understand about Ramadan and other Islamic beliefs. I believe that diversity does not only mean people with different nationalities but to have your own character and be original. To be unique, to have your own opinion and to be yourself make this world diverse.This is why I want to work in an International firm. I want to use my bilingual skills, share different perspectives and prove how diversity makes this world extremely entertaining.
    A colorful piece of paper will represent my world and it is filled in with various colors. I am still missing some but I am going to add those colors from now on. There are countless people who shaped my dreams. However, not only the people I have met, everything in every moment is somehow influencing my life. My dreams, aspirations and my world is never-ending and beyond imagination. I can turn anything into something I never imaged and I am going to keep initiating connections with numerous people to help this world become amusing.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,134


    If your essay is part of an application, then we cannot help you. The organisation you are applying to expects your work, not ours.


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