Results 1 to 2 of 2
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Bulgarian
      • Home Country:
      • Bulgaria
      • Current Location:
      • Bulgaria

    • Join Date: Sep 2007
    • Posts: 5,000
    #1

    revising of two sentences

    Dear teachers,

    Would you be kind enough to revise the following sentences?

    We have given careful attention to your counter-offer and discussed the matter with our sub-contractors the Brown and White Electrical Company, Ltd.

    As to the time for delivery, we have asked our subcontractors to look into the time required for the delivery of the alternator to our works, and they have agreed to reduce their time down to eighteen months.

    Thanks for your efforts.

    Regards,

    V
    Last edited by vil; 04-Dec-2010 at 13:11.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Tagalog
      • Home Country:
      • Philippines
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Dec 2010
    • Posts: 4
    #2

    Re: revising of two sentences

    Quote Originally Posted by vil View Post
    Dear teachers,

    Would you be kind enough to revise the following sentences?

    We have given careful attention to your counter-offer and discussed the matter with our sub-contractors the Brown and White Electrical Company, Lmt.

    As to the time for delivery, we have asked our subcontractors to look into the time required for the delivery of the alternator to our works, and they have agreed to reduce their time down to eighteen months.

    Thanks for your efforts.

    Regards,

    V
    Hi Vil,

    Just my 2 cents revision.

    Careful attention had been given to your counter-offer and the matter was discussed with our sub-contractors- the Brown and White Electrical Company, Ltd.

    (I used passive voice above to give emphasis on the subject careful attention) or;
    We have given careful attention to your counter-offer and have discussed the matter with our sub-contractors- the Brown and White Electrical Company, Ltd.

    As for the delivery time, we have asked our sub-contractors to look into the time required for the alternator to be delivered to our works, and they agreed to reduce their time down to eighteen months.

Similar Threads

  1. [General] revising of a few sentences 11
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-Apr-2010, 16:00
  2. [General] revising of two sentences
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 27-Feb-2010, 11:50
  3. [General] revising of a few sentences 9
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 24-Feb-2010, 17:24
  4. [General] revising of a few sentences 5
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 26-Dec-2009, 08:34
  5. [General] revising of a few sentences 3
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-Nov-2009, 10:38

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •