i have written this letter of motivation.. i tried my best but i still think it is not up to mark.. i would really appreciate if you highlight the necessary changes to be made in this letter. Thanks
here it goes

Scientist investigates that which already is
Engineer creates that which has never been"
- Albert Einstein

Dear Sir/Madam,
I grew up with my brothers who have always been into motorbikes and cars and were always busy in either discussing their rides with each other or with friends so ever since from my early childhood cars and bikes were the focus. I used to fix things no matter in right way or the other. Sometimes, it was a perfect match while some time a wild goose hunt. I was always curious about the amazing stuffs. From simple toys to complex machines. This paved the way of my future, providing the food for my analytical interest to grow and sharpen. As I grew up, I did not stop fixing things, even my friends desktop computer's Central Processing Unit, CPU. So after passing my intermediate education I took admission in BE Industrial Engineering and Management.
During my course of study at baccalaureate level I was particularly interested in Thermal sciences, Mechanics of machines and Design. Working on the project in one of my Country’s best company 12345 Motors has not only given me a certain set of skills but has also made me to develop intense curiosity to explore and to identify my academic strengths and weaknesses and therefore I decided to chose masters program in Automotive Engineering. It will help me in specializing structural design, exhaust systems and engines by working on the aerodynamics, vehicle ride and handling, power generation etc.
Like a coin having two faces, I feel that extra curricular activities are as important as studies in estimating a student's overall capacity. I was a member of the college Cricket and Football teams. These experiences were very helpful in learning how to work with a team, which I believe is very essential for master studies where I will have to interact with a diverse group of people from all over the world.
No education is complete without experience. Armed with a solid understanding of academic principles, I can begin my career where I will add to my experience. Because I will be well versed in the theory, I will be able to adapt and modify the theoretical constructs as required in order to meet my company's needs.
After deciding the subject, the hardest part was choosing the country and the University. Since German universities have great reputation all over the world. As It is full of vibrant colors, highly technological and International standard quality education . ABC University is enjoying its position in the leading group of university ranking made by the Center for higher education by assessing the quality of the European universities education And Universum Student Survey questioned in this respect a number of 19 000 students from universities across Germany. 91% of ABC students were satisfied with the teaching quality and 87% assessed the framework conditions at ABC University by far above average. Therefore these are the reasons for me choosing this particular university.
I believe I have made the right choice. Therefore, I would like to request you to grant me this opportunity to complete my Master in Automobile Engineering. I would also like you to know that after my completion I am looking forward to complete my PhD as well.

Your Sincerely