Please give me comments on the following letter of motivation. Please do it as soon as posiible as I am running out of time to send application. I expect the comments by tommorow.

A myriad of related factors made me enthusiastic to apply for your masters program in sustainable regional health systems. My practical experiences I got at work as well during my graduate study take a lion’s share among others for my heightened intention to continue my study in sustainable regional health systems. Working in Family Guidance Association of Ethiopia, which is the largest reproductive health service provider in Ethiopia enabled me to witness the importance of a strong health system so as to address health needs of a society. Access to and availability of services, community empowerment, integration of services and good leadership have to be given due emphasis if we need to improve the health of our people. However, all of the aforementioned health system basics are at their infancy in sub-Saharan Africa in general and Ethiopia in particular. My graduate thesis on “factors affecting use of Intrauterine Contraceptive Devices (IUCD) among family planning clients in Addis Ababa” has also identified socio economic characteristics, knowledge and attitudes as well as accessibility and availability of services as major determinants for use or non-use of the method in the city. These tremendous practical experiences really make me vigilant about the importance of a strong health system for the good health of the public.
The broad health system includes everyone responsible for good health, from the family in a rural village to the surgeon in a hospital in the capital city. It encompasses sanitation and nutrition, involves all branches of government, and operates within the public sector, civil society, and for-profit entities. An effective health system begins with parents who have learnt the best ways to keep their children healthy. If a child does become sick, the mother can bring the child to a clinic, be seen without a long wait, and have the health problem correctly diagnosed and appropriately treated by well-trained and supervised health staff who have the right medicines available. If the mother is also informed about family planning and freely chooses an appropriate family planning method so that she will not get pregnant again right away, the health system is fulfilling its role: attending to people’s health and productivity so that they can contribute to the development and prosperity of all.
As a health professional, I always dream to see people enjoying high quality of life which is not yet certain in my country. Ethiopia can have strong and sustainable health system with the resources it has at present if management systems are improved. I strongly believe that the European master program in sustainable regional health systems plays pivotal role in transforming scholars to excellent health managers which in turn strengthen health systems of developing nations. I had a few experiences in health system strengthening actions in my organization through decentralization and integration of services, despite the actions were limited. Therefore, I will build up on my prior experience if I am enrolled in the European master program in sustainable regional health systems. Moreover, I will contribute much for the program in sharing my practical experiences to study participants and in undertaking good research in the field as I do have research experiences.