Results 1 to 4 of 4
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 19
    #1

    Intro for essay

    OLD ENGLISH (from the beginning to 1066)
    · Germanic origins



    · Latin influence



    · Norse influence



    · Celtic influence



    MIDDLE ENGLISH (1066 to 1485)

    • Old and Middle English






    • The 12th to 14th centuries
    • c. 1400







    MODERN ENGLISH (1485 to the present)

    • English Language Reform - Americanization
    • Early Modern English (1500 - 1800 AD)



    Canadian English

    • Grammar
    • Vocabulary





    What I have for an introduction thus far is this:

    With 300 million speakers and over 600,000 words, the English language has become the cornerstone of all spoken communication in our modern world. This, however, did not happen overnight. It took many years of simplifications and additions to reach the dialect that is spoken today. The English language has been influenced by many cultures and peoples throughout its evolution from its Anglo-Frisian origins to what we speak today.


    Can you tell me what you think of it and give some ideas on how to improve it.



    Thanks,
    J

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 19
    #2

    Re: Intro for essay

    Hi, thanks for the response! I have a few question on your comments:
    (Maybe on an international basis but I wonder how many people speak a form of Chinese.)

    I'm not sure what you are saying here. The essay is supposed to be on an international basis, and this data I got on the number of people with English as their first language.

    (A language is not a dialect - a dialect is generally localized and is deviant from the mainstream of the language.)

    Thanks for reminding me this. I always get them mixed up To fix this one how about I change "dialect" to "language".

    (Be careful here. Not all people who speak English speak in the same manner - dialects creep in - consider the Indian version of English, for example.).

    I'm again not sure what you're saying here. I'm talking about the English language in general. The Indian version of English would have come after the birth of the language (I would think). Maybe it would help if I changed this to "its Germanic origins"? and "the dialects that are spoken today" to cover all bases.



    From your comments I changed to this:


    With approximately 300 million speakers and over 600,000 words, the English language has become an international leader in all spoken communications in the modern world. This, however, did not happen overnight. It took many years of simplifications and additions to reach the modern dialects of the language that are spoken today. The English language has been influenced by many cultures and peoples throughout its evolution from its Germanic origins to the dialects that are spoken today.


    Thesis in red
    Additions in green.


    Again, thank you very much for helping me improve my intro.

    Thanks,
    Jason



    P.S Do you think it should be longer?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 19
    #3

    Re: Intro for essay

    I think it helped

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 19
    #4

    Re: Intro for essay

    Anyone?....

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] Please Correct my"Enriques journey" intro.
    By josedlt in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-Nov-2010, 01:03
  2. please correct my intro to my essay techers!!!
    By nataliexfaye in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-Mar-2007, 08:18
  3. I need an intro
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-Apr-2005, 02:40
  4. can i change some sentence to make this intro paragraph better?
    By kkche in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 09-Dec-2004, 01:48
  5. Intro Paragraph help on Iliad essay
    By Eeezee in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-Dec-2004, 09:06

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •