There's nothing inherently wrong, but the sentences are somewhat brief and 'staccato'.
"I was coming home pretty late and it was getting dark and raining. I didn't want to get soaking wet and since I hadn't taken an umbrella I was walking fast. One of the passing cars suddenly pulled up next to me and somebody called out. I recognised the voice of my friend who was asking if he could give me a lift, to which I agreed and in five minutes I was home.
Student or Learner