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  1. easybreakable's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Libya
      • Current Location:
      • Libya

    • Join Date: Feb 2010
    • Posts: 249
    #1

    Lightbulb anything wrong with this paragraph.

    I'd really appreciate it if you tell me whether something wrong with this paragraph or not.

    ~and once, during desperate moments, you realized achieving something you couldn't do for a long time, wouldn't that deserve "one genuine smile"?


  2. bhaisahab's Avatar
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      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Ireland

    • Join Date: Apr 2008
    • Posts: 25,626
    #2

    Re: anything wrong with this paragraph.

    Quote Originally Posted by easybreakable View Post
    I'd really appreciate it if you tell me whether something wrong with this paragraph or not.

    ~and once, during desperate moments, you realized achieving something you couldn't do for a long time, wouldn't that deserve "one genuine smile"?

    I would rewrite it like this:
    ~and if once, during a desperate moment, you realized that you had achieved something you hadn't been able to do for a long time; wouldn't that deserve "one genuine smile"?


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