Results 1 to 7 of 7
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Georgia
      • Current Location:
      • Georgia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 293
    #1

    An Essay

    Hello,


    Could you please correct my essay?

    "The Government should pay for colleges and universities; Education should be
    free for everybody" Do you agree with this statement or not?


    I quite agree with the following statement and I will try to elaborate on my own opinion(or argument?). Everyone wants to receive a good education not only to find a job and get by later(can I use then?), but also to indulge particular interests.
    Getting a good education is an engaging process that, first of all involeves(or requires?) a lot of patience. One's student's years are always considered to be the most unforgettable and interesting.
    During this time you make a lot of friends, become independent( is it possible to say an independent person?), learn more and more interesting things everyday, and get ready for the process of sharing your knowlwdge one day at the same time being a little excited and nervous about it(I wanted to put 'at the back of your mind' but I am not sure if it is necessary and where it can be put exactly).
    Getting a good education can be a goal but not a dream since everyone has the right to have it.These are the people from lower social class who suffer from this problem most of all.
    The government should consider the needs and interests of such people and realise that they deserve to become educated as well.
    It behooves the government to think especially about young people whose ambitions can help to (Isn't it a mistake to say; 'to help at building a strong country?') make a strong country.
    There are many things that can change peoples' lives and I think that the government's decision to make education free for everyone is the most important one.
    Could I write 'people's life' as well instead of peoples' lives?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    #2

    Re: An Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by sondra View Post
    Hello,


    Could you please correct my essay?

    "The Government should pay for colleges and universities; Education should be
    free for everybody" Do you agree with this statement or not?


    I quite agree with the following statement and I will try to elaborate on my own opinion(or argument?). Everyone wants to receive a good education not only to find a job and get by later(can I use then?),prosper, but also to indulge their particular interests.
    Getting a good education is an engaging process that, first of all, involeves(or requires a lot of patience. One's student's years are always considered to be the most unforgettable and interesting.
    During this time you make a lot of friends, become independent( is it possible to say an independent person?), , learn more and more interesting things everyday. and get ready It allows one to prepare for the process of sharing your knowlwdge one day, but at the same time being a little excited and nervous about it(I wanted to put 'at the back of your mind' but I am not sure if it is necessary and where it can be put exactly).Getting a good education can be a goal but not a dream (why not a dream?) since everyone has the right to have it.These are the People from a lower social class who suffer from this problem most of all.
    The government should consider the needs and interests of such people and realise that they deserve to become educated as well.
    It behooves the government to think especially about young people whose ambitions can help to (Isn't it a mistake to say; 'to help at building a strong country?') makebuild a strong country.
    There are many things that can change peoples' lives and I think that the government's decision to make education free for everyone is the most important one.

    Could I write 'people's life' as well instead of peoples' lives?

    (I prefer "peoples' lives")


    My comments/suggestions. By the way, where does the "government" get its money?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Georgia
      • Current Location:
      • Georgia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 293
    #3

    Re: An Essay

    My comments/suggestions? Do you mean I can use it instead of opinion?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Georgia
      • Current Location:
      • Georgia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 293
    #4

    Re: An Essay

    I am afraid I didn't understand your question. Sorry.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    #5

    Re: An Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by sondra View Post
    I am afraid I didn't understand your question. Sorry.
    My comments/suggestions (opinion) were for your essay. The question was somewhat facetious and was meant to imply that the "government" gets its money from its citizens. So, the college education is not really "free".

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Georgia
      • Current Location:
      • Georgia

    • Join Date: Apr 2010
    • Posts: 293
    #6

    Re: An Essay

    Thank you for the explanation. Now I understand you . :)

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Apr 2009
    • Posts: 12,307
    #7

    Re: An Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by billmcd View Post
    My comments/suggestions (opinion) were for your essay. The question was somewhat facetious and was meant to imply that the "government" gets its money from its citizens. So, the college education is not really "free".
    I wouldn't think it is the function of the government to indulge peoples' particular interests either.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 15-Mar-2009, 19:09
  2. Could you please correct my essay. it is the first essay i write
    By leangguek in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-Feb-2008, 05:10
  3. my lpi essay need some editor to review my essay
    By gonghai in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 07-Mar-2006, 08:42

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •