Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
This is the fourth part of my short story "A Flat". Please, would you proofread it.
The couple had not planned to have more children, but somehow Jelena became pregnant for the third time. She was willing to have an abortion, but Ivan said, “We have two daughters, let’s see if we get a son.” However, nine months later the third daughter was born. Ivan was a little disappointed. He wished to have a son, talk to him like man to man, teach him how to behave properly and take him to football matches.
His friends comforted him by telling him that it was always better to have daughters than sons, because daughters always took care of their parents, even if they were married and had their own families. Sons moved away and did not have much time for their parents, especially if they were married to jealous women who were not willing to share them with anyone.
Although Ivan loved his daughters greatly and worked overtime to create for them a beautiful childhood, he yearned after that boy who still had not come up. Then they tried again, and this time his prayers had been answered. After the birth of the first son, Ivan gave a party and invited all the neighbours from the street. He was poor and could not offer them expensive drinks and meals, but Jelena was good cook and she conjured up delicious soups and pastries which were highly praised by the guests.
Everyone came to see the newborn baby and according to the local custom, they kissed him and put some money under his pillow.
About one month later a commission responsible for the flat applications arrived. There were three middle-aged men who Ivan knew well, and who worked in the same factory as he did, although in a different unit. They were cordial and patted friendly Ivan’s children who gazed at them in awe. Then they opened their thick notebooks and began to write down all the details of the state of the flat.
They had a tape measure which they used to measure the ceiling height. It showed just about two metres. They measured the rooms which were so small that they hardly could be called rooms at all. They put on record rotting window frames, cracks on the walls, rotting floorboards in the rooms and mouldy walls in the toilet. They noted down that the rooms were heated by a wooden cooker only and that the flat lacked proper insulation.
That made it almost unfit for human habitation and it did not meet the requirements of the Housing Regulations. Although they emphasized that they had to remain impartial and simply collect the facts, they were deeply affected by what they had seen. Before they left, the three men shook hands with Jelena and Ivan wishing them good luck.
Their visit rekindled the family’s hopes. One day they would have their own flat, clean and spacious and so warm that they would walk around dressed only in T-shirts in the middle of the winter. They discussed about the new furniture and new gadgets they were going to buy and what kind of flowers they were going to have on the balcony.
However, some months later, there had been another disappointment when the flats had been allotted to other families. Ivan and his wife had no other choice but to accept the decision. They must have been people living in much worse conditions than their own, families living in squalor with sick children whose life was in danger and who needed immediate help.
A few more years past and they were still waiting. In the meantime, Jelena gave birth to another son. Now they were seven people in the household and it felt really crowded. Vesna and her sister started school and they needed room and quiet for doing their homework, which was almost impossible to find when one was disturbed all the time. This situation mostly affected Ivan who worked hard all the time, never was on sick leave, never cheated and always believed in the ideals of socialism and communism.
He could watch the Marshal on TV every day, promising new factories, new flats and better life, but the reality was something completely different. They taught him in the school and in the army that great leader was creating the most equal society in the history of the world, but everyone could see with one’s own eyes that a certain group in society lived like gods while others were drudging and struggling to make ends meet.
TO BE CONTINUED
The couple had not planned to have more children, but somehow Jelena became pregnant for the third time. She was willing to have an abortion, but Ivan said, “We have two daughters, let’s see if we get a son.” However, nine months later the third daughter was born. Ivan was a little disappointed. He wished to have a son, talk to him like man to man, teach him how to behave properly and take him to football matches.
His friends comforted him by telling him that it was always better to have daughters than sons, because daughters always took care of their parents, even if they were married and had their own families. Sons moved away and did not have much time for their parents, especially if they were married to jealous women who were not willing to share them with anyone.
Although Ivan loved his daughters greatly and worked overtime to create for them a beautiful childhood, he yearned after that boy who still had not come up. Then they tried again, and this time his prayers had been answered. After the birth of the first son, Ivan gave a party and invited all the neighbours from the street. He was poor and could not offer them expensive drinks and meals, but Jelena was good cook and she conjured up delicious soups and pastries which were highly praised by the guests.
Everyone came to see the newborn baby and according to the local custom, they kissed him and put some money under his pillow.
About one month later a commission responsible for the flat applications arrived. There were three middle-aged men who Ivan knew well, and who worked in the same factory as he did, although in a different unit. They were cordial and patted friendly Ivan’s children who gazed at them in awe. Then they opened their thick notebooks and began to write down all the details of the state of the flat.
They had a tape measure which they used to measure the ceiling height. It showed just about two metres. They measured the rooms which were so small that they hardly could be called rooms at all. They put on record rotting window frames, cracks on the walls, rotting floorboards in the rooms and mouldy walls in the toilet. They noted down that the rooms were heated by a wooden cooker only and that the flat lacked proper insulation.
That made it almost unfit for human habitation and it did not meet the requirements of the Housing Regulations. Although they emphasized that they had to remain impartial and simply collect the facts, they were deeply affected by what they had seen. Before they left, the three men shook hands with Jelena and Ivan wishing them good luck.
Their visit rekindled the family’s hopes. One day they would have their own flat, clean and spacious and so warm that they would walk around dressed only in T-shirts in the middle of the winter. They discussed about the new furniture and new gadgets they were going to buy and what kind of flowers they were going to have on the balcony.
However, some months later, there had been another disappointment when the flats had been allotted to other families. Ivan and his wife had no other choice but to accept the decision. They must have been people living in much worse conditions than their own, families living in squalor with sick children whose life was in danger and who needed immediate help.
A few more years past and they were still waiting. In the meantime, Jelena gave birth to another son. Now they were seven people in the household and it felt really crowded. Vesna and her sister started school and they needed room and quiet for doing their homework, which was almost impossible to find when one was disturbed all the time. This situation mostly affected Ivan who worked hard all the time, never was on sick leave, never cheated and always believed in the ideals of socialism and communism.
He could watch the Marshal on TV every day, promising new factories, new flats and better life, but the reality was something completely different. They taught him in the school and in the army that great leader was creating the most equal society in the history of the world, but everyone could see with one’s own eyes that a certain group in society lived like gods while others were drudging and struggling to make ends meet.
TO BE CONTINUED
