I have made corrections/alterations in red and those in blue are suggested alternatives. Do compare carefully with your original as there are some simple deletions.Please give me some advice on the email content below. I have been laughed at by someone because of my poor written English skills. I need your help.
Happy New Year to you!!!
You looked very beautiful in the photos. I wished (that) I could have been the little penguin toy you were holding in your hand when you took the photo (shot). I also wished I could be the lego mermaid which you had sitting next to you. OR which you were sitting next to.
I wish you all the best on your trip to Melbourne tonight and I hope you are going to have fun there. My celebration plan for my new year is waiting for your return and improving my English written skills. You are definitely right with your idea for me to read through a grammar book. Now I feel as if my writing is getting better and better.
You can see my recent photos which includes not only myself but also my flatmates, in the attachment. We took the photos when we had a lovely/great dinner together on Christmas night. Look at one of the photos to see the wonderful dinner we prepared! I can't wait to have you sitting beside me to share the lovely dinner with all of us next time when you are here.
After dinner we played Wii together with Wii sports and Super Mario 3. What an unforgettable night!
I received your phone message ten minutes ago when I was reading the English grammar book on the table in the dining room. I wanted to send you a message back then but I have had my phone on charge all afternoon, so I am writing you this email letter instead.
When you arrive in Melbourne, please let me know by sending me a message ( an email). I just want to know you are safe in order to have a nice sleep.
By the way, today is the last day of the year 2010. Tomorrow will be the first day of the year 2011. Tonight my flatmates asked me to do the New Year countdown with them in front of the Cathedral Square. I really wanted to, but I refused. The reason is I want to do it with you.
So the rest of the night I will spend my time studying English.
Hope you enjoy your days in Melbourne!!!
Interested in Language