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    #1

    An MT in need of help...

    Apparently, after 10 years of doing my job it has been brought to my attention that my punctuation is a little "off" lately. Not sure how I managed the last 10 years, however, I was wondering if this would be the place for me to ask questions (daily)?

    My doctors tend to have many fragmented/run-on sentences and just when I think I am punctuating them correctly, I am told something different by QA.

    Here is an example of what's "bothering" me now - this is how it was dictated:

    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest he does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.


    Here is how I typed it:

    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion. Although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest, he does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.

    We are only "allowed" to do subtle editing, so rephrasing these run-on sentences is not an option.

    Does my version look correct or am I missing something?

    Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

  1. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Quote Originally Posted by oranrene View Post


    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest he does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.


    Here is how I typed it:

    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion. Although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest, he does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.
    Hi, and welcome to the forums. It's hard to say what the "although" passage is more closely linked to. It could be the pain in his back, or it could be the ability to make the assessment. Your version is punctuated grammatically (as I"m sure you know), but another way to write that would be:

    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion, although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest. He does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.

    Pain A has moved, although pain B is the same. He can't say whether it was a success.
    or
    Pain A has moved. Although he still has pain B, he can't say whether it was a success.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Quote Originally Posted by oranrene View Post
    Here is how I typed it:

    He states at this time that the pain in his back has migrated down a little below where it was prior to his fusion. Although he continues to have radiating pain around his chest, he does not feel he can make an adequate assessment on whether the procedure has been particularly helpful.

    Does my version look correct or am I missing something?
    I cannot see anything wrong at all in your version; I would have punctuated it in exactly the same way.

    However, I have come to realise that some institutions in the USA have far more precise rules on punctuation than we British, so you may find others who will point out what is 'wrong'.

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    #4

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Thank you so much, Barb, for responding and welcoming me.

    I see what you mean and that is something to ponder. Thinking about it now, perhaps the term "although" should simply be omitted and rephrased to "Due to the continued radiating pain around his chest..." Unfortunately, they would have my head if I did so ;)

    Again, I appreciate your response!!

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    #5

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Thank you for looking and responding, Five! I'm moving to Britain!! lol

  3. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Quote Originally Posted by oranrene View Post
    Thank you so much, Barb, for responding and welcoming me.

    I see what you mean and that is something to ponder. Thinking about it now, perhaps the term "although" should simply be omitted and rephrased to "Due to the continued radiating pain around his chest..." Unfortunately, they would have my head if I did so ;)

    Again, I appreciate your response!!
    But you'd be making an assumption by doing so, even if you were allowed. You would be saying that it is specifically because of the chest pain that he's unable to make that decision. My initial reading of the run-on was that the "although" was a contrast to the first sentence, not to the final one. My suggested revision shows that first-sentence contrast, while yours shows last-sentence contrast. I don't know which one was meant, though, unless you heard a massive pause on the tape.

    Your original is fine -- if they say otherwise, you need to ask why.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #7

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Gotcha...thanks again, Barb!

    Check this one out:

    With regard to Mr. ----'s current complaints, we are optimistic with his improvement thus far and feel that allowing the fusion to mature we will see an improvement in his left shoulder and posterior neck pain. We have liberalized his activities and allowed him to go back to riding his horses at a slow pace. We asked him to avoid anything aggressive. We have also cleared him to lift up to 50 pounds using good body mechanics, as well as being protective of his neck and avoiding any jerking or more violent movements. We have also stated that he can go back to playing some golf and ease into this using his best judgment. We are going to see him back in three months' time with some repeat imaging. We have given him a refill of his Lortab today, as well as some Tramadol for minor pains due to arthritis, and some Amrix in an effort to improve some of his soreness that he is experiencing right now. We have also given him an order for his films to be done. We will see him in three months and proceed accordingly.

    I have to go over this now, correct it, and send it in. If anyone has time, I'd appreciate seeing any corrections you would make ;)

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Quote Originally Posted by oranrene View Post
    We have also cleared him to lift up to 50 pounds using good body mechanics, as well as being protective of his neck and avoiding any jerking or more violent movements.
    This is the only part that I could see changing, moving the comma to after "50 pounds." He wasn't cleared to lift as well as cleared to be protective -- he was cleared to lift if he used good mechanics was was protective.

    But it's pretty nit-picky.
    Last edited by Barb_D; 05-Jan-2011 at 17:37.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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    #9

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    I didn't change anything - wish I had seen this post before sending it in, though. Had I added that comma after "50 pounds," I bet she would have taken it out...and then I'd ask why!!! Oh well, next time ;)

    Thanks!

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    #10

    Re: An MT in need of help...

    Here is an example of some of the work QA corrected for me. What do you think? Am I a "comma queen" or what? lol

    Hearing is diminished, [no comma necessary] but intact bilaterally. Strength is 5/5 in the bilateral lower extremities, as well as the right upper extremity and left upper extremity with the exception of the left grip. Sensory exam is within normal limits to light touch throughout, with the exception of the third, fourth and fifth digits of the left hand, [no comma necessary] which have some altered sensation to light touch. Cardiovascular: Regular rate and rhythm. Lungs: Clear with some mild wheezes. Abdomen: Mildly obese, [no comma necessary] but negative.

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