Some suggestions.Hi everyone! I really need help in grammar and phrasing for my personal statement! Please help me out!
Thank you for your support in advance.
amhave been preparing for long time to get into thea good college like Pepperdine University. I am assuredsure that I want to achievestudy business education at Pepperdine. My father and fewseveral of my co-workers attended Pepperdine. and, I want to become like them.I have been working at a law firm, calledBaker & McKenzie in Tokyo aftersince graduating from International School of Sacred Heart. My experience in both places has helped me to be ready to contribute to Pepperdine.prepare for college. I am going to accomplish and provide diverse perspectives that we each lack and grow together. I wanted to change.(I don't think you should suggest that you can improve Pepperdine).When I was in high school, I did not favorenjoy studying. I was not appreciatingdid not value education enough. and IRather, I wished to work in and experience inthe "real world". Since I always had business, especially marketing, in my mind as my future career, and hadwas also interested in law, I challenged myself to apply for an internship in the Business and Marketing department at Baker & McKenzie. It ishas been the most memorable accomplishment, contribution( only B & M can confirm whether it has been a "contribution") and experience in 10 years of my life. I absorbedlearned countless things such as time (?), diversity (?) and connection(?) importance (how does one learn time, diversity and connection?). I am confident that the ideasinformation and skills I assimilated would help me when I am learningstudying at Pepperdine because I believe I have broad views and ideas that many students do not have yet. My experience urgedhas prompted me to study business and law. more.I have worked at different places but I believe that those two fields are my primary interests.
I met two Pepperdine alumnae at Baker & Mckenzie; a lawyer and a business coordinator. They made me aspire to attend Pepperdine
more and become like one of them especially the Business Coordinator.My father also attended Pepperdine. What I am positive about is that they are not just smart. They have independence and haveindividuality. They are also so confident and proud aboutof themselves. I want to contribute by being one of the admireable representatives of Pepperdine.
Before I was employed at Baker & McKenzie,As I mentioned previously, I attended International School of Sacred Heart. I wasstudied there for 10 years, contributing to Christianity(? how did you contribute to Christianity?) . Although, I am technicallyactually not a Christian, I have always believed in Christianity. Therefore, I want to continue being in a Christianity community and, contribute and develop my faith in God. Other than Christianity, I gained the essence of diversity at my school. Not only about nationalities but diversity in opinions and charactersindividuals. are what makes this world diverse.I can bring different views, including Japanese traditions and culture sto Pepperdine.
Although I have plans and ideas about my future,
itI understand that they might change during college years. However, at this moment, I have my plans and dreams that make sme passionate about my life. AlsoI am certain that I want to attend Pepperdine. I am confident that my diversity,passion, experience and perspectives will contribute to Pepperdine. At the same time, I will gain countless things that I could only gain in college and grow as a sophisticated person.
Student or Learner