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  1. Miao.L's Avatar
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    #1

    Does this sentence make sense?

    Excuse me teachers,

    I was wondering whether the sentence following make sense-

    During the process of experiment, she brought many profitable ideas on the basis of what she learnt from the class and practical experience. I also remembered that she struggled to carry weighty equipment as her male group mates did, she definitely played an important role in helping me succeed the experiment.

    are there any grammartical mistakes?

    Also, if I need to attach extra pages with a form, is it correct to put 'Find another two pages attached', or better to say 'Find the recommendation letter in attached two pages'.

    Thank you for your help.

    Yours faithfully

  2. NikkiBarber's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    I am not an English teacher but I can suggest some changes:

    Quote Originally Posted by Miao.L View Post
    During the process of experiment, she brought many profitable ideas on the basis of what she learnt from the class and practical experience Her knowledge and practical experience allowed her to contribute many useful ideas to the experiment. I also remembered that she struggled She was able to carry weighty equipment as her male group mates did and she definitely played an important role in helping me succeed in the experiment.
    I don't know what you are writing this for, but do you feel that it is necessary to mention that she was able to carry weight in spite of her gender?

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    #3

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    How about:

    While conducting experiments, she used many profitable ideas based on learned material from class and from her own practical experiences. I recall that even though she struggled with the weighty equipment needed for the experiments, she was prepared as well as any other student. She definately played an important part in helping me conduct successful experiments.

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    #4

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    (NB "definitely" rather than "definately".)

    MrP

    Not a professional ESL teacher.

  3. probus's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    I completely agree with NikkiBarber.

    But further "I also remembered that she struggled to carry weighty equipment as her male group mates did" is a sentence, and the verb should probably be remember rather than remembered.

    "she definitely played an important role in helping me succeed the experiment" is another sentence. You have run them together and should separate them into two sentences.

    Lastly it should be "succeed in the experiment" or "succeed with the experiment", not "succeed the experiment"

  4. Miao.L's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    Thanks a lot to all of you.

    It is a recommendation- She is going to study in a girl's school; therefore, I thought that comparing her with her male counterparts might be helpful. In fact it is not necessary, isn't it?

    Also, if I need to attach extra pages with a form, is it correct to put 'Find another two pages attached', or better to say 'Find the recommendation letter in attached two pages'.

    Thank you!

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    #7

    Re: Does this sentence make sense?

    Just a follow-up comment on "She was able to carry weighty equipment"

    Being a native speaker from the US, I would *never* say "weighty." I would use "heavy."

    *Not a teacher*


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