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  1. saddouda's Avatar
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    #1

    An essay

    Here is an essay i have written i dont want you to correct my mistakes , just if you like to point at them pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
    All over the world, men have always argued whether a woman should be allowed to work or not. Unfortunately, most of the men in my society and even a few women believe that a woman's job is to be done at home, and only at home. It is to raise children , take care of the husband and the house. "What about us?", "What about what we want and what we need?"; these are questions raised among women who believe in the opposite. Women should be allowed to work for a lot of reasons: economic necessity, psychological needs and enrichment of knowledge.
    First of all ,women need to work for economic necessity. In the 21 th century, it is Impossible for a father to provide everything his family needs because life is not as easy as it used to be ;we do not live in houses of mud and we do not eat what we sow, life is about paying bills buying a house , a car , and even pets.So, a woman needs to work to help her husband , either by sharing with him the responsibility of bills or something else , or by avoiding being a burden on her husband and paying for what she wants to have.
    Second of all, women tend to have careers to satisfy their psychological needs ."Good mother" is not what women only look up for .Since they are aware of their abilities , they like to be more than that.Women need to prove their existence ;show their skills and intelligence ,be successful and creative .Women self-esteem and self-appreciation is only achieved when they fulfill their career's dreams and feel that they have done something good to their societies and to the world.
    Finally, establishing relations at work helps women to enrich their knowledge. The best thing about working outside is being able to have relationships with all kind of people ;this will enable women to get in touch with all mentalities , discuss several topics whether political ,social ,economics .Being at work gives women a chance to learn from other's experiences and even get brilliant ideas to deal with their children and husbands.
    Women's duties at house are undeniable like men's duties, but it does not mean that they should be deprived from working. It is essential for women to have careers ,to guarantee money for a descent life ,prove their existence and learn from other's experiences.Women should be helped to be successful to help the world and not the other way around .

  2. Khosro's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: An essay

    Quote Originally Posted by saddouda View Post

    Here is an essay i have written i dont want you to correct my mistakes , just if you like to point at them pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


    All over the world, men have always argued whether a woman should be allowed to work or not. Unfortunately, most of the men in my society and even a few women believe that a woman's job is to be done at home, and only at home. It is to raise children , take care of the husband and the house. "What about us?", "What about what we want and what we need?"; these are questions raised among women who believe in the opposite. Women should be allowed to work for a lot of reasons: economic necessity, psychological needs and enrichment of knowledge.


    First of all ,women need to work for economic necessity. In the 21 th century, it is Impossible for a father to provide everything his family needs because life is not as easy as it used to be ;we do not live in houses of mud and we do not eat what we sow, life is about paying bills buying a house , a car , and even pets.So, a woman needs to work to help her husband , either by sharing with him the responsibility of bills or something else , or by avoiding being a burden on her husband and paying for what she wants to have.


    Second of all, women tend to have careers to satisfy their psychological needs ."Good mother" is not what women only look up for .Since they are aware of their abilities , they like to be more than that.Women need to prove their existence ;show their skills and intelligence ,be successful and creative .Women self-esteem and self-appreciation is only achieved when they fulfill their career's dreams and feel that they have done something good to their societies and to the world.


    Finally, establishing relations at work helps women to enrich their knowledge. The best thing about working outside is being able to have relationships with all kind of people ;this will enable women to get in touch with all mentalities , discuss several topics whether political ,social ,economics .Being at work gives women a chance to learn from other's experiences and even get brilliant ideas to deal with their children and husbands.


    Women's duties at house are undeniable like men's duties, but it does not mean that they should be deprived from working. It is essential for women to have careers ,to guarantee money for a descent life ,prove their existence and learn from other's experiences.Women should be helped to be successful to help the world and not the other way around .
    That's as much as I know.
    Not all of them are mistakes. Some are mistakes and some can be written in a better way.
    I learn English and at the same time teach English.
    Last edited by Khosro; 29-Jan-2011 at 23:15.

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    #3

    Re: An essay

    Here is an essay i have written. i dont want you to correct my mistakes , just if you like to point at them out please.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    All over the world, men have always argued whether a woman should be allowed to work or not. Unfortunately, most of the men in my society and even a few women believe that a woman's job is to be done at home, and only at home. It is to raise children , take care of the husband and the house.

    "What about us?" "What about what we want and what we need?"; these are questions raised among women who believe in the opposite. Women should be allowed to work for a lot of reasons: economic necessity, psychological needs and enrichment of knowledge.

    First of all, women need to work for economic necessity. In the 21 th century, it is Impossible for a father to provide everything his family needs because life is not as easy as it used to be; we do not live in houses of mud and we do not eat what we sow, life is about paying bills, buying a house, a car, and even pets. So a woman needs to work to help her husband, either by sharing with him the responsibility of bills or something else , or by avoiding being a burden on her husband and paying for what she wants to have.

    Second of all, women tend to have careers to satisfy their psychological needs ."Good mother" is not what women only look up for. Since they are aware of their abilities, they like to be more than that. Women need to prove their existence ;show their skills and intelligence ,be successful and creative .Women self-esteem and self-appreciation is only achieved when they fulfill their career's dreams and feel that they have done something good to their societies and to the world.

    Finally, establishing relations at work helps women to enrich their knowledge. The best thing about working outside is being able to have relationships with all kind of people ;this will enable women to get in touch with all mentalities , discuss several topics whether political ,social ,economics .Being at work gives women a chance to learn from other's experiences and even get brilliant ideas to deal with their children and husbands.

    Women's duties at house are undeniable like men's duties, but it does not mean that they should be deprived from working. It is essential for women to have careers ,to guarantee money for a descent life ,prove their existence and learn from other's experiences.Women should be helped to be successful to help the world and not the other way around.
    Align your text from the left.
    Leave a space after a comma, full stop, etc - not before it.

    Rover

  3. saddouda's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: An essay

    Thank you so much , that was really helpful for me

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