[Essay] sop sop sop

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santuknl85

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Statement of Purpose
I, XXXXXXXXXX would like to join your prestigious institution and hence give the below statement of purpose, explaining why I choose this program, what my career goal is and how I think this institute can guide me towards what I want to achieve.

My first introduction to the field of films was at my senior high school. At those times I used to develop various stage characters which gradually brought me recognition in the campus and inter college festivals. I also lead our team as a “Head of Cultural Activities and Sports” (just to mention I was my college football captain) at our university events. This sense of identification propelled my interest towards film making.

In India, at Hyderabad, I enrolled in X X X X X X and successfully finished the program, SAM {Specialization in Advanced Multimedia}.Here I was trained for 3D and composting software’s. During that period I and my team developed 3 short films of which one was nominated in a regional film festival, Madras. On the International animation day-„08 held for Asia in Hyderabad I represented our team for my college.

Education with required skill provides excellent opportunities. So I decided to pursue One year practical filmmaking. I want to learn about the film industry in a comprehensive way, How they are formed from the „ground-up‟ and why the brilliant directors like Stephen Spielberg do the things they do, who have achieved the critical and commercial success. For all these I need a place where I can educate myself and I believe XXXXXXXXXXXX is that place which can provide me the platform to arise and excel in my endeavors. I expect to meet a group of like-minded young men and women displaying international diversity and intellectual tolerance and hope to be acquainted with them as pupil, collaborator and friend.

Although film making is my passion, my focus is on DIRECTION and CINEMATOGRAPHY. I just feel like holding a good artistic eye. Hence want to learn more about the visual aspects of film making.

I have the enthusiasm, spirit and drive to go far, only looking for an opportunity to tune-up my abilities and achieve the maximum.
 

apex2000

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And your question is?
 

santuknl85

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need corrections .....at....the....required.....place.... :)
 

apex2000

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Statement of Purpose
I, XXXXXXXXXX would like to join your prestigious institution and hence give the below a statement of purpose, explaining why I chose this program, what my career goal is and how I think your institute can guide me towards the goals I want to achieve.

My first introduction to the field of films was at my senior high school. At those times I used to develop various stage characters which gradually brought me recognition on the campus and inter college festivals. I also lead our team as a “Head of Cultural Activities and Sports” at our university events - I was my college football captain). This sense of identification propelled me towards my interest in film making.

In India, at Hyderabad, I enrolled in X X X X X X and successfully finished the program, SAM {Specialization in Advanced Multimedia}.Here I was trained for 3D and software development. During that period my team and I developed 3 short films, one of which was nominated in a regional film festival, Madras. On the International animation day in 2008, held for Asia in Hyderabad, I represented our team for my college.

Education with required skill provides excellent opportunities. So I decided to pursue one year in practical film making. I want to acquire a comprehensive understanding about the film industry; how studios are formed and grow; why the brilliant directors like Stephen Spielberg do the things they do, then achieve critical and commercial success. For all these I need a place where I can educate myself and I believe XXXXXXXXXXXX is that place which can provide me with the platform to excel in my endeavors.

I expect to meet a group of like-minded young men and women displaying international diversity and intellectual tolerance and hope to be acquainted with them as pupil, collaborator and friend.

Although film making is my passion, my focus is on DIRECTION and CINEMATOGRAPHY. I just feel that I have a good artistic eye. But I need to learn more about the visual aspects of film making.

I have the enthusiasm, spirit and drive to go far, now I am looking for an opportunity to tune-up my abilities and achieve the maximum.

When you read and compare the above you will notice a number of minor changes and the major ones in blue. You should study these to understand the changes and why I have made them.
There is one point that may need further change because I cannot be sure of your meaning when you say "composting software’s". For a start the apostrophe is incorrect; composting relates to recycling bio wastes; and if you intend the plural softwares I have made an assumption of development. Anything you are still not sure about do ask again.
 

santuknl85

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final check please :)


Statement of Purpose

I, XXXXXXXX would like to join your prestigious institution and hence give the below a statement of purpose, explaining why I chose this program, what my career goal is and how I think your institute can guide me towards the goals I want to achieve.

My first introduction to the field of films was at my senior high school. At those times I used to develop various stage characters which gradually brought me recognition on the campus and inter college festivals. I also lead our team as a “Head of Cultural Activities and Sports” at our university events –I was my college football captain. This sense of identification propelled me towards my interest in filmmaking

In India, at Hyderabad, I enrolled in XXXXXand successfully finished the program, SAM {Specialization in Advanced Multimedia}.Here I was trained for 3D and composting software. During that period my team and I developed 3 short films, one of which was nominated in a regional film festival, Madras. On the International animation day in 2008, held for Asia in Hyderabad, I represented our team for my college.

Education with required skill provides excellent opportunities. So I decided to pursue one year in practical film making. I want to acquire a comprehensive understanding about the film industry; how studios are formed and grow; why the brilliant directors like Stephen Spielberg do the things they do, and then achieve critical and commercial success. For all these I need a place where I can educate myself and I believe XXXXXXXXX is that place which can provide me with the platform to excel in my endeavors. It will provide an environment competitive enough to bring out the best in me. I expect to meet a group of like-minded young men and women displaying international diversity and intellectual tolerance and hope to be acquainted with them as pupil, collaborator and friend.

Naturally being a hard working and committed student, I am sure that my requisite background, intellectual ability and high level of personal motivation will help me strive for the goals that I have set for my career. I would therefore be grateful if I am offered an admission in to MS program with possible financial support

Being a creative, research oriented individual it was my apparent choice to pursue film making , Although it is my passion, my focus is on DIRECTION and CINEMATOGRAPHY. I just feel that I have a good artistic eye but I wish to learn more about the visual aspects of film making.

I have the enthusiasm, spirit and drive to go far, now I am looking for an opportunity to tune-up my abilities and achieve the maximum
 

apex2000

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I see that I missed one point which I thought I had corrected:
Your first paragraph includes "hence give the below a statement of" where 'the' should not be there and much better is "hence I give below......."

Then the extra statement "I would therefore be grateful if I am offered an admission in to MS program with possible financial support" you should say "...into the MS program..."

and finally do be careful with your punctuation - see the end of your paragraphs 5 and 7. All these 'little' points are very important. Get them correct and you have done as much as you can to present yourself as you wish.
Good luck.
 

santuknl85

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Thanchhhhhhh.............a....loOot..............friend.............. :):):)
 
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