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    #1

    He/She

    When writing a paragraph, is it best to use HE/SHE instead of mentioning the names all over again especially if you have introduced the subject at the beginning of the sentence already?


    Example: Venus said Gab just used her then. Gab said she could say it. He apologized to her. He said he did not realize that hes just seeing Ella in her. He apologized again. He thought he loved her. Venus said he did not have to apologize.


    Thanks!

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    #2

    Re: He/She

    Venus said Gab just used her then. Gab said she could say it. He apologized to her. He said he did not realize that hes just seeing Ella in her. He apologized again. He thought he loved her. Venus said he did not have to apologize.

    Hi Kristine. It might work better with some dialogue.

    "So you just used me, Gab", said Venus. "You could say that", he replied, and apologized, saying that he hadn't realized he was just seeing Ella in her. He apologized again, "I thought I loved you". "You don't have to apologize", she said.

    That might be more dialogue than you want, but perhaps it will help you.

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    #3

    Re: He/She

    JMurray's dialogue suggestion reads well.

    If you don't want dialogue for some reason, you can cut out some of the reportinging words, and some of the actual dialogue, in reported speech:

    Venus accused Gab of using her. Gab apologized to her; he had not realized that he was just seeing Ella in her. He apologized again. He thought he loved her. Venus told him there was no need to apologize.

    I still prefer JMurray's version. It reads far more naturally than reported speech.

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    #4

    Re: He/She

    I see. Thank you very much! They are very helpful. However, I am doing an analysis of a television series that's why I'm writing reported speeches. The suggestions were very much excellent but can I use a different verb other than accuse?

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    #5

    Re: He/She

    Quote Originally Posted by Kristine May View Post
    ,, can I use a different verb other than accuse?
    Venus felt that Gab had (just) used her.

    If the whole thing is reporting what happened and what was said, 'felt' could imply a reporting of the feeling. That's all I can think of for the moment.

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    #6

    Re: He/She

    Thank you very much!

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    #7

    Re: He/She

    The thought occurs to me that, if you are doing an analysis of a television series, you may be worrying too much about getting nearly every word of the dialogue into your analysis. A broader summary might suffice.

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    #8

    Re: He/She

    Yes, that is right. Haha! I'm having a difficulty in stating my sentences, afraid that I might interpret the series wrongly.

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