Results 1 to 8 of 8
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    #1

    The frantic mob

    Please, check the following passage. Thanks.

    The frantic mob continued to express its anger by hitting and smashing state symbols. Although in most cases the army did not fire into the protesters, almost 100 people have been killed since the end of the last week in violent incidents in T___a, part of them as a result of participating in the disturbances and others - as victims of private accounts settled between people who, for this end, took advantage of the absence of law and order in the state.

  1. apex2000's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Wales

    • Join Date: Nov 2005
    • Posts: 785
    #2

    Re: The frantic mob

    What is your question? Check what? Check for what? What is this for? Are you reporting for someone?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    #3

    Re: The frantic mob

    Sorry for not being clear. This is a passage I've translated. I would like to know if it is grammatically correcret. Thanks.

  2. 5jj's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • England
      • Current Location:
      • Czech Republic

    • Join Date: Oct 2010
    • Posts: 28,134
    #4

    Re: The frantic mob

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    The frantic mob continued to express its anger by hitting and smashing state symbols. Although in most cases the army did not fire into the protesters, almost 100 people have been killed since the end of the last week in violent incidents in T___a, part (of them) ()as a result of participating in the disturbances and others (-) as victims of private accounts settled between people who (, for this end,) took advantage of the absence of law and order in the state.
    I'd use some instead of part and cut the two dashes; of them is not really necessary.
    I'd also cut for this end - this is implied in took advantage.

    Personally, I find your second sentence a little long. I would put a full stop after T____a, and begin a new sentence with: Some were killed as a result of ....

  3. apex2000's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Wales

    • Join Date: Nov 2005
    • Posts: 785
    #5

    Re: The frantic mob

    Quote Originally Posted by motico View Post
    Please, check the following passage. Thanks.

    The frantic mob continued to express its anger by hitting and smashing state symbols. Although in most cases the army did not fire into the protesters, almost 100 people have been killed since the end of (the) last week in violent incidents in T___a, (part) of them – as a result of participating in the disturbances and others (-) as victims of private accounts settled between people who, for (this end), took advantage of the absence of law and order in the state.
    As a translation you have done very well. I have bracketed points for you to consider. The is unnecessary in this instance and part is unsuitable in this context whilst this end is unnecessary. But as this is a translation then preferable would be their own ends. The long sentence is too long and needs to be broken up if not into more sentences then certainly by using semi colons.

    What concerns me thereafter is the difference between the translation and "Sorry for not being clear. This is a passage I've translated. I would like to know if it is grammatically correcret. Thanks."
    As a translater your aim is not only to be grammatically correct but also to ensure that you retain the meaning and it is understandable. In that respect attention to the smallest detail is important. You should apply that to all your writing - look again at your words highlighted above.

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Hebrew
      • Home Country:
      • Israel
      • Current Location:
      • Israel

    • Join Date: May 2010
    • Posts: 307
    #6

    Re: The frantic mob

    Quote Originally Posted by fivejedjon View Post
    I'd use some instead of part and cut the two dashes; of them is not really necessary.
    I'd also cut for this end - this is implied in took advantage.

    Personally, I find your second sentence a little long. I would put a full stop after T____a, and begin a new sentence with: Some were killed as a result of ....
    If I accept your correction on: "Some were killed as a result of…" shouldn't the tense be consistent with that of the previous sentence, i.e.: "Some have been killed as a result of…"?
    Last edited by motico; 04-Feb-2011 at 20:40.

  4. apex2000's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • Wales

    • Join Date: Nov 2005
    • Posts: 785
    #7

    Re: The frantic mob

    No. You can use either.

  5. BobK's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2006
    • Posts: 16,038
    #8

    Re: The frantic mob

    I'm not too happy about this 'frantic mob'. Here are the first ten '<adj> + mob' hits in BNC:

    TOT
    1 HEAVY MOB 13
    2 OTHER MOB 9
    3 ANGRY MOB 9
    4 CHANTING MOB 5
    5 UNRULY MOB 4
    6 HOSTILE MOB 3
    7 NETTER MOB 3 Maybe they're catching butterflies...
    8 ARMED MOB 3
    9 ENRAGED MOB 2
    10 FRENZIED MOB 2...
    There are 83 more - not a single 'frantic mob': British National Corpus (BYU-BNC)

    Of course, this isn't to say 'frantic mob' is wrong; I'd just expect a mob to be frenzied or angry or violent or unruly or something.

    b

Similar Threads

  1. Retell of Son of the Mob
    By NarutoDude in forum Literature
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Mar-2010, 17:54
  2. [General] Re: Mob (addressing)
    By thedaffodils in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 25-Aug-2008, 14:54
  3. assisting frantic soldiers
    By angliholic in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 10-Nov-2007, 23:07

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •