Check for my summary

[tosucceed999]

Hello, this is my summary from the book: Business@ the speed of thought, author: Bill Gates.
Please check grammar for me please!!!

Summary:
Business @ the speed of thought is written by Bill Gates, who used to hold the position of CEO and chief software architect in Microsoft. This book is about how a digital nervous system can improve the modern business in the twentieth first century. Moreover, information technology not only solves specific problems that humans cannot do but also delivers information immediately to anyone who is using it. He also concentrate on what will the Internet change the ways in controlling world wide commerce. Managing the useful knowledge is an important way to keep strategic thought developing and that means bad news can be found if the market share is lost. Modern information technology and facilities can help doctors and nurses to check the bill and test results easily, which save much time for their patients efficiently.
Response 1:
One part I found very amazing was the change of technology used in taking care patients. Imagined you have a new health- car system built in your local hospital.
A doctor could use a touch screen, keyboard to order your treatment. Digital instructions are sent off to the laboratories. Computers supply laboratory results electronically. These and other reports are online for easy review by any doctor. Test results and bills reach you in simple, understandable language. All the information about your treatment and medicine is assessed automatically over the longer term to help prevent problems.
I think this part is amazing because it was vey fast and easy for you than using a pen to write on paper. May be it was expensive to buy a keyboard or a touch screen but you could save time effectively with the help from digital facility. Besides using computer to improve the working, you can view reports online easily. Internet becomes more popular in our society so automatic working will be the best way to deal.
Response 2:
I have used the computer since 2001. At the first time, it was difficult for me to learn how to type with the keyboard and control the mouse. After some months, I easily use it and play games. Information technology becomes more popular in the twentieth first century that all people from young to old need to learn to use it. One of the most efficiency when using computer is to save time for you to do other necessary works. For instance, you can type on the computer and print it with a little minute. However, when you use a pen to write words that takes you for a long time and using a lot of papers.

 

[tosucceed999]

Help me please!!!!

 

[JMurray]

tosucceed.
There are some points where I'm not sure what you mean. However, I have tried to give you corrections that make sense. I hope it's helpful.

Summary:
Business @ the Speed of Thought is written by Bill Gates, who used to hold the position of CEO and chief software architect at Microsoft. This book describes how a digital system can improve a modern business in the twentieth-first century. Moreover, information technology not only solves specific problems that humans cannot, it also delivers information immediately to anyone who needs it. Gates also concentrates on how the Internet will change the ways of controlling worldwide commerce. Managing useful knowledge is an important way to keep strategic thought developing, which means that bad news can be found quickly if market share is lost. Modern information technology and facilities can help doctors and nurses with billing and with checking test results easily, which can save a lot of time for their patients.
Response 1:
One part I found amazing was the change in the technology used in taking care of patients. Imagine you have a new health-care system set up in your local hospital. A doctor could use a touch screen keyboard to order your treatment. Digital instructions are sent off to the laboratory and computers supply the laboratory results electronically. These and other reports are online for easy review by any doctor. Test results and bills reach you in simple, understandable language. All the information about your treatment and medicine is assessed automatically over the longer term to help prevent problems.
I think this part is amazing because it's faster and easier than using a pen to write on paper. Maybe it would be expensive to buy a keyboard or a touch screen, but you could save time effectively with the help of such a digital facility. Besides, by using a computer to improve the procedure you can view reports online easily. As the Internet becomes more popular in our society a digital system will be the best way to deal with it.
Response 2:
I have used the computer since 2001. At first it was difficult for me to learn how to type with the keyboard and control the mouse. After some months I began to use it easily and play games. As information technology becomes more popular in the twentieth-first century, all people, from young to old, will need to learn to use it. One of the benefits of using a computer is to save time for you to do other necessary work. For instance, you can type on the computer and print it within minutes. However, when you use a pen to write words it takes you a long time and uses a lot of paper.

 

[tosucceed999]

Thank you!!!

 

[JMurray]

tosucceed.
I can see how the idea of a digital nervous system ties in with the title of the book, although your review doesn't really deal further with the "nervous system" analogy. But if you want to keep that idea in the review, then you could have that second sentence go something like this.

"This book describes how a form of digital nervous system can improve modern business in the twentieth-first century".